There’s always something to howl about

I want to ride around on the back bumper of your car, shouting soundlessly at strangers at your behest.

I want to write bumper stickers. Like this: 

  • Stigmatize Failure. 
  • Charity is Voluntary. 
  • Decriminalize Success. 

What would you shout in my place?


50 Comments so far

  1. Jim Klein April 19th, 2011 4:45 am

    I frequently wear a white teeshirt that has on it, in large black bold, “LEGALIZE CAPITALISM”

    You’ll appreciate, I’ve also got one that says “Kant” with the universal red circle and slash over it.

  2. Brian Brady April 19th, 2011 6:56 am

    You Are Your Keeper

  3. Jeff Brown April 19th, 2011 8:36 am

    Equal OPPORTUNITY — NOT equal results

  4. Teri Lussier April 19th, 2011 3:16 pm

    Step Off.

  5. Chris April 19th, 2011 3:50 pm

    Want Some = Go Get It!

  6. Jeff Beck April 20th, 2011 7:06 am

    For all the struggling realtorz and brokerz out there who seem to spend way too much of their time and energy crying about the gubmint… maybe you need to take a good long look in the mirror.

    We have owned and operated our own brokerage for 8+ years. It is hard work, but I have never really felt any great burden placed on us by OSHA! What is OSHA doing to keep you from being successful, Gregg Swann?

  7. Sean Purcell April 20th, 2011 12:18 pm

    I am John Galt

    The Pareto Principle & Progressives:
    80% take / 20% pay ??

    First they came for those who had money,
    then they came for those…
    actually, there was only “they” after that.

    Success is NOT a 4 letter word

    Goals ARE the Goal

    Fulfill your function: BE

    Galt’s Gulch – Have Your Fill of
    All the Beer You Bring Yourself…

    Piss off your Congressman: Vote

    Notwith a bang, but an Obama…

    …and my favorite: “Eschew Obfuscation”

  8. Jeff D April 20th, 2011 3:42 pm

    You looked better on MySpace

  9. Dan Connolly April 21st, 2011 5:51 am

    Hang up and drive.


    It really would be the same without you.


    You can’t wake up a person pretending to be asleep.

  10. Teri Lussier April 21st, 2011 6:41 am

    Redistribute this.

  11. Jeff Beck April 21st, 2011 7:25 am

    Obamar is Terrist

  12. Brett Tousley April 21st, 2011 9:19 am

    How’s that “Hopey Changey” thing working for ya?

    There is no shame in working for a living

    99 weeks and still no job? Seriously?

  13. Al Lorenz April 21st, 2011 3:03 pm

    Government: opt out

  14. Jeff Beck April 21st, 2011 5:53 pm

    Seriously folks, has it now become cool to blame the government for one’s apparent lack of business acumen?

  15. Brian Brady April 21st, 2011 6:58 pm

    Okay, Jeff. The trolling was cute (but apparent) and now you’ve crossed over into fallacy-land. Nobody is using this regime’s overreach of regulations as the reason business is down. In fact, I see three commenters in the thread who are thriving because of the regime’s promotion of Rotarian Socialism.

    Would you feel better if we asked about your first comment? I just know you’re dying to tell us how you lasted in business for eight years!

  16. Jeff Beck April 22nd, 2011 7:09 am

    If it’s not apparent, it’s not trolling!! <= Bumpersticker

    I'm just honestly gobsmacked by the propensity of so many Realtors to complain, complain, complain about the govt. Especially here, where I least expected it.

    It's not that hard folks! I cannot think of a single example where govt is SERIOUSLY holding us back as brokerage owners. You have to be licensed. You need to make sure your agents are licensed. You need a local business license. Our signage has to comply to code. We need emergency lighting and fire extinguishers.

    What else?

    I apologize if I came across as *that guy*, who bursts into a private clique and starts blasting people to diminish them. I subscribe to BHB, but rarely have time to check up. The other day I did, and instead of the original/clever marketing ideas that I have admired so much in the past, I read a bunch of derivative, right wing talking points.

    I was just expressing my belief that Realtors (as a group) spend too much energy focusing on things that we have, at best, minimal ability to control instead of just growing their business.

  17. Sean Purcell April 22nd, 2011 11:15 am

    @Jeff – I cannot think of a single example where govt is SERIOUSLY holding us back as brokerage owners.

    Maybe you should read a few more of the “right wing talking points” found on BHB. Of course, anyone doing so will realize first and foremost that the majority of writers here are writing about splendor in real estate. You’ll also recognize the ignorance of referring to these posts as “right wing” or “complaints”.

    The exploration of ideas, especially economic, philosophical and political ideas, can’t help but help anyone with an open mind and engaging curiosity. If you’re having difficulty understanding why this benefits your brokerage (and congratulations on your ongoing success), it’s disappointing but not surprising. Speaking for myself, it’s been a lot of kicking and shouting along the way because so much of what’s said here lately is contradictory to what we’ve been taught along the way. E.g. “(we) spend too much energy focusing on things that we have, at best, minimal ability to control instead of just growing (our) business.” is exactly the type of thinking that allows others to slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) steal your liberty.

    Your self-described success is a testament to your work ethic and dedication. Do you believe those terrific traits will continue to sustain you no matter what happens? What if interest rates skyrocket? What if inflation crushes the BBs just beginning to retire? What if property ownership becomes a privilege allocated by others? What if the mortgage system becomes so centrally planned that it collapses? What if the inherent right to own the fruits of one’s labor (property) continues to lose recognition in our political system? What if the dollar collapses? Do you really think these things don’t affect you? Or that you don’t have the ability to affect them? If your answer to either question is “yes”, I invite you – I implore you – to continue reading; the life you save may be your own.

    “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s hard to remember your original job was to drain the swamp.”

  18. Jeff Beck April 22nd, 2011 11:29 am

    List a house, market a house, generate leads, sell a house. That should be our 9/5 focus (in my opinion) if we want to ensure success in real estate. If you’re unable to concentrate on the task at hand, you need a new career, where you can perhaps be paid to pursue your passion. Andrew Breitbart is hiring, I’m sure.

    Even if ALL the horrific (and highly unlikely) things you fear, come to pass in the good ole USA, my skills and drive will make me successful anywhere I go.

    Even at Thunderdome they will need someone to train the Flamethrower Salesforce.

  19. Teri Lussier April 22nd, 2011 3:54 pm

    For my husband:

    “When the going gets tough, they call out the sons of bitches.”

    Too long for a bumper sticker?

  20. simplicity April 22nd, 2011 4:25 pm

    you break me you own me

  21. Brian Brady April 23rd, 2011 1:48 pm

    Liberty IS social justice

  22. Greg Swann April 23rd, 2011 3:48 pm

    When I was 19, I would have written that this way:

    Justice is a piece-rate and a toll road.

  23. Brian Brady April 24th, 2011 1:36 am

    TARP: Wing-tipped Welfare Queens

  24. Brian Brady April 24th, 2011 1:39 am

    Lehman Brothers: Welfare Reform

  25. Jim Klein April 24th, 2011 7:35 am

    You sure it’s not two extinguishers, Jeff? Oh, you forgot the tank on the toilet.

  26. Jeff Beck April 26th, 2011 7:22 am

    Oh geez. You’re right. Two offices = two fire extinguishers!

    Dayum yoo Obamar! Yer soshulis claptrap is makin me be incumpetitiv!

  27. Jim Klein April 26th, 2011 7:41 am

    It ain’t the claptrap; that’s what bloggers do. It’s the guns. Old story, new place…insanity is believing the same actions won’t produce the same results.

  28. Jeff Beck April 26th, 2011 8:37 am

    Is that really what “insanity” is? Do people who say that actually believe it, or does it just sound clever?

    Where did you ever get the notion that repeating the same actions always gives the same results? You’re assuming that our actions are performed in a vacuum, and I don’t have to tell you what happens when you make assumptions.

  29. Sean Purcell April 26th, 2011 9:33 am

    Where did you ever get the notion that repeating the same actions always gives the same results?

    Inlookers: Mr. Beck’s comment helps us to understand the inexcusable: Why do ostensibly intelligent people periodically rediscover collectivism cloaked as some new incarnation (“Hope and Change” being the latest) and favor its implementation? Why do people who preach compassion favor a political system that has, over the centuries (actually, just over the last century alone), led to the deaths of millions? Why do apparently educated people refuse to learn from the past and continue embracing a philosophy that has never, in the history of mankind, worked? Simple: because their egos are so big they believe that if they repeat the same actions of others, they will come up with a different result.

    Hubris: the justification for slavery.

  30. Greg Swann April 26th, 2011 10:04 am

    What happens if you invert the syllogism? What if slavery is the objective and hubris the camouflage?

  31. Greg Swann April 26th, 2011 10:06 am

    N.B.: Not accusing Beck of anything except pretending to have three testicles.

  32. Jim Klein April 26th, 2011 7:03 pm

    Seems to me that if their egos were so big, Sean, they wouldn’t be so quick to swallow tripe. Jeff, are you really saying that you didn’t understand?

    Sean wrote, “led to the death of millions;” of course it was hundreds of millions in the last century alone. I wonder, whatever happened to compassion?

  33. Jeff Beck April 27th, 2011 6:01 am

    Please say what you mean in plain english.

    Are you claiming that American progressive policies since 1910 have caused the deaths of hundreds of millions? Are you claiming that the New Deal inspired the Khmer Rouge? Was Hitler motivated to exterminate Jews by Teddy Roosevelt’s trust busting? Did American Progressive child labor laws trigger the Bataan Death March?

    Use a chalkboard if it helps you organize your thoughts.

  34. Sean Purcell April 27th, 2011 9:46 pm

    Good Grief. No Jeff, I’m claiming that the Easter Bunny caused typhoid. Come back when you have something intelligent to say.

  35. Jeff Beck April 28th, 2011 5:30 am

    Please tally the hundreds of millions dead in the last 100 years for us (me?) and explain how “collectivism” was responsible.

    In plain english. I’ll wait….

  36. Jim Klein April 28th, 2011 6:06 am

    Jeff…Sean wrote, “Why do people who preach compassion favor a political system that has, over the centuries (actually, just over the last century alone), led to the deaths of millions?”

    If you really don’t understand, which is what you’re saying, then this isn’t the place to learn. Yes, “people who preach compassion favor a political system…”

    Of course, they’re just preaching compassion, not practicing it. Sorry if you don’t get it. Hitler sought to exterminate Jews and others after he ran out of excuses. Sit back and you’ll see how it happens, and you can live with your little part in it.

  37. Jeff Beck April 28th, 2011 7:12 am

    Oh… progressivism leads to genocide and Hitler was a librul. *wow*

    I didn’t ask you to “explain”, I asked you to “account”… to tally up “the hundreds of millions” who have died due to progressive policies “in the last century”.

    That should be easy to do.

  38. Jim Klein April 28th, 2011 7:39 am

    Jeff, I enjoy indulging children, but I don’t think this is the place to do it. A quick search yielded this, IMO using overtight definitions…

    Hopefully this is enough time wasted for you. The readers here are trying to use their minds, not pretend they don’t have one. If you can’t respect yourself, could you at least respect them, please?

  39. Jeff Beck April 28th, 2011 7:57 am

    Oh geez. I totally apologize to the guy who enjoys “indulging” children..

    I totally forgot that Stalin, Mao, the Japanese Imperialist Army, Pol Pot and the Russian Czars were all Progressives.

    MY BAD!

    Now please return to “using” your (hive) minds. 🙂

    I’m gonna go sell some real estate… and make some more of that silly, worthless fiat currency.

    4. 61,911,000 Murdered: The Soviet Gulag State
    5. 35,236,000 Murdered: The Communist Chinese Ant Hill
    6. 20,946,000 Murdered: The Nazi Genocide State
    7. 10,214,000 Murdered: The Depraved Nationalist Regime


    8. 5,964,000 Murdered: Japan’s Savage Military
    9. 2,035,000 Murdered: The Khmer Rouge Hell State
    10. 1,883,000 Murdered: Turkey’s Genocidal Purges
    11. 1,670,000 Murdered: The Vietnamese War State
    12. 1,585,000 Murdered: Poland’s Ethnic Cleansing
    13. 1,503,000 Murdered: The Pakistani Cutthroat State
    14. 1,072,000 Murdered: Tito’s Slaughterhouse


    15. 1,663,000 Murdered? Orwellian North Korea
    16. 1,417,000 Murdered? Barbarous Mexico
    17. 1,066,000 Murdered? Feudal Russia

  40. Jim Klein April 28th, 2011 8:06 am

    > Oh geez. I totally apologize to the guy who enjoys “indulging” children..

    Totally accepted, and I commend you on finding something wiser to do.

  41. Teri Lussier April 28th, 2011 9:40 am

    >the guy who enjoys “indulging” children..

    I found some of your comments to be quite funny, Jeff. But if you are implying something with this comment, it’s truly disgusting.

  42. Alice April 28th, 2011 2:58 pm

    Those are pretty funny! I’ve always loved “My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma.”

  43. Jim Klein April 28th, 2011 3:04 pm

    Keen eye, Teri. Witness the mindset of “progressive compassion,” as humor yet. It’s like those hundreds of millions of murders, all done “for the good of the people.”

    One of the reasons decent people don’t have to dispense justice, is that reality takes care of it. Imagine the nightmare of living with such a mind.

  44. Greg Swann April 29th, 2011 6:32 pm

    Here’s one I’ve thought about for years:


    The exclamation point matters, I think. I like it in Latin, too:


    This is Janioism in two words:

    Do better.

  45. Brian Brady April 29th, 2011 8:48 pm

    I once put this on my Facebook status but it’s as meaningful as a bumper sticker:

    If you can read this, thank an entrepreneur

  46. Jim Klein April 30th, 2011 3:49 pm

    I’ve got all these, but they’re hardly ascendant…hey, I’m working on it!

    Don’t Reelect Anybody

    I Fight Poverty–I Work!

    This House Protected by an Armed Citizen Three Days a Week–You Guess Which Three!

    [A Sign]: Zoloft—for those who don’t want to say, “I’m on Prozac!”

    [A Sign]: United Nations—Freedom Through Tyranny

    My current favorite bumper sticker…

    If Guns Shoot People, Do Pencils Misspell Words?

  47. Teri Lussier April 30th, 2011 5:42 pm

    I did used to drive around with a bumper sticker that was my wiseass celebration of entrepreneurial spirit (to my mind) that said: “My kid sold your honor student the answers to the test”

    Anyway. It made me smile to read it.

  48. Greg Swann April 30th, 2011 11:12 pm

    > It made me smile to read it.

    Jacksonian. 😉

  49. Sean Purcell May 2nd, 2011 7:02 am

    Saw this on a shirt Saturday night – might fit on a bumper sticker:

    Like We Need Your Support

  50. Greg Swann May 5th, 2011 6:38 pm

    I provide a lot of unsolicited market research for the people who write the software I use. I know what i want, so, if I think I can get results, I will hammer at people until they give me what I want. Just now, I wrote this bumper sticker as a part of a feature request:

    Want Bigger.