A Little Tough Love: We Don’t Get Paid For Tryin’ — We Get Paid For Doin’

by Jeff Brown

Real Estate Investments Broker

Author website

Before beginning, and to head off the ‘you’re so mean’ crowd at the pass, I’m talking here of those things in our careers for which we, more or less, hold the reigns. We never totally control everything when it comes to our scorecard (read: results), but we can reasonably agree most (80/20?) of what we wish to accomplish is under our control to a greater or lesser extent.

There was a short period when I was a trier. I empathize with those who say they tried hard in this business. I don’t feel sorry for them, but I empathize. I realize it sounds hard-hearted, but for Heaven’s sake, they don’t even believe themselves. They were the ones not doing what they knew what had to be done to produce results, right? My money says they were there at the precise moments they weren’t doing them.

In other words, around here‘The dog ate my homework’ will fall on deaf ears.

I made a comment on Russell Shaw’s most recent post. I’ve always loved the way Russell pokes good hearted fun at old sayings. In this case it was, ‘work hard, play hard’. I’m with him in saying, whatever that means. I prefer to work hard and play however it pleases me. Isn’t that at least part of the reason I’m working hard in the first place? Duh. Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, he pointed out the difference between ‘having to’ and ‘wanting to’. As usual with Russell, he nailed it. Russell inspires me with his uncanny ability to do surgery painlessly, yet without anesthesia. His post is what brought to mind the whole Try vs Do thing with which we all have struggled at one time or another.

Here’s my comment verbatim.

I truly don’t mean to be harsh here, as there is some real suffering out there amongst the RE community. Still, there are two classes of agents.

Those who DO, and those who Try.

Do you ‘try’ to prospect daily, or do you ‘prospect daily?’

Labeling this line of thinking as ‘positive thinking’ replaces doing with trying.

Those for whom results are the only measuring stick, don’t ‘try’ to do anything — they’re too busy getting things actually done.

As a young agent I was constantly told, “Don’t make excuses Brown, make good.”

I wasn’t allowed to try.

For those out there who’ve survived, even by the narrowest of margins, to commit the daily act of real estate once again, I posit the following.

Trying and failing is still failing. We’re not paid for trying, and certainly not for failing. Those for whom the appearance of intense effort provides salve for your conscience? Thinking is only productive when it’s followed by doing — some would say action. It’s amazing what fantasies we create as we plot to guarantee our own failure, all the while ensuring it appears we did everything possible to succeed. We humans are unreal at times, aren’t we?

Do yourself a favor and stop putting out what comes from the south end of a northbound bull. This isn’t the ‘everyone’s a winner’ pretend world of kids’ sports leagues, where showing up ‘merits’ yet another trophy, or blue ribbon. This is real life. There are winners and losers. Successes and failures. Large financial rewards and ‘I gotta get a real job’ reality.

This is the world where trying is never rewarded in terms your banker, or your clients understand.

Since Nixon’s first year in office I’ve watched those, including myself at times, perfect the skill of appearing to be working in the real estate business. Russell speaks about demanding what we want to accomplish instead of thinking in terms of wanting.

We can put it in so many ways.

From where I’m sitting it comes down to two principles.

1. You’re gonna become what you think about most. Hat tip to Solomon, but quoted in various versions by everyone everywhere. And for the record? It matters not who quotes or paraphrases it. A principle is a principle regardless of who applies it. Whether it’s Forrest Gump who says gravity will makes us fall down instead of up, or Einstein himself — down is still the direction we’ll be falling.

2. There are those who try, and those who do. The way to tell the difference is listening for the excuses, dressed up as explanations made by the triers.

When was the last time you tried to eat lunch, fill your car with gas, or hug your kids? Ah, I sense lights going on.

We don’t try to succeed in our real estate careers, we decide to. We decided to get married. Or did you just try to get married? Really? Yet there are those who will look us right in the eye, serious as a heart attack, obviously thinking we’re stoopid, while telling us they’ve been trying really, really hard to earn their way in real estate.

I feel for these folks, ‘cuz just as Russell so expertly put it, they wanted to do what it took, but didn’t have to. I’ll take it a step further, and say, as we all know in that special part of our hearts that never lies to us — they knew every single time they wanted to do what would produce the desired results, but chose some other course.

They preferred the appearance of trying to the act of doing.

How are they not mortally embarrassed by this script, reminiscent of a lousy sit-com? Do they realize their listeners are embarrassed for them? I look back when it was me lobbing up lame excuses, and am red-faced to the point of glowing in the dark just thinking about it. Though it was in another lifetime, I still remember how important it was to convince my audience of my heroic, yet fruitless efforts to succeed. By the time I was finished spinning my tales of woe, Homer was ashamed he’d ever called himself a poet.

Again, I don’t mean to be harsh. But sell that crappola to someone who is buying. And you know who the #1 person in your life who isn’t buying?

I mean, besides your spouse?

That pesky person in the mirror.

Turn the page. Beginning today, stop trying and start doing. It’s an incredible lifestyle. Once you’ve done it a few times in a row, you’ll never go back. It’s addictive. Before you know it, you’ll be going from success to success. When it seems difficult, ask yourself how difficult it was to eat lunch yesterday.

Pretty soon you’ll be eatin’ everyone’s lunch.