There’s always something to howl about.

Spread the Wealth Around Real Estate

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that Spread the Wealth Around Real Estate will be the name of my new real estate company. You can call it S.W.AR.E for short. I plan to open doors nationwide just as soon as the election is over. I am a very patriotic person and I want to model my new company after the feds. I anticipate rapid growth and high demand for the exciting and much needed programs that I am going to implement. Keeping up with it all is going to be very taxing.

Our business model is very simple: Spread the wealth around – You don’t need all that darn money!

Top earning agents will give back 70% of their commissions to the company. Then we (the company) will redistribute it to underperforming agents in the office.

Top listing agents will be told to hand over the vast majority of their listings to the worthless bums that sit around drinking coffee and gossiping all day. It seems that sitting on your rear isn’t very productive and we need to help them out.

Agents that have SEO will quickly become SOL! We will move aggressively to forward their leads over to agents that don’t even own a computer. Exactly how they will communicate with the prospect is something that we are still trying to figure out. Do typewriters get online? We’re working on it…

My people (that I’m not really affiliated with) have already begun distributing my autobiography to elementary school students in the continental United States to ensure proper brainwashing. History will soon show my model to be the salvation of the real estate industry. Yes, thank you, thank you. It’s all me. Unless something goes wrong then it was the previous administration.

And, if you aren’t licensed but want to come to work for S.W.A.R.E, just tell the state examiner that you are down with commission redistribution and they will give you a real estate license in ANY name that you wish. It’s that simple! We try to avoid rules and regulations as much as possible and we have very little time for facts. No red tape…only red flags waving at our corporate office.

Don’t think of my new business model as Realtor(R) welfare or socialism. Instead, think of it as all those hardworking and innovative son-of-a-guns don’t need all that money as much as you do.

Remember, Spread the Wealth Around Real Estate. It works…even if you don’t.

I’m Jessica Horton and I approve this message.

Paid for by Fleeced Americans.