“Well, you can’t talk…”

by Jeff Turner

Real Estate Marketing Executive

Author website

Last month we started a new “tradition” in our house. Now that the four boys are old enough to sit still, every night we read a chapter from a “chapter book.” When we’re finished with the book, we rent the movie and watch it. We started with Because Of Winn Dixie. It was a great experience.

Last night I read chapter five of Charlotte’s Web. I enjoy doing it. It’s a great time with the boys and it takes my mind off work and blogs. At least it did, until I got to this part of the story.

“It’s a miserable inheritance,” said Wilbur, gloomily”. He was sad, because his new friend was so bloodthirsty.

“Yes, it is,” agreed Charlotte. “But I can’t help it. I don’t know how the first spider in the early days of the world happened to think up this fancy way of spinning a web, but she did, and it was clever of her too. And since then, all of us spiders have had to work the same trick. It’s not a bad pitch on the whole.”

“It’s cruel,” replied Wilbur, who did not intend to be argued out of his position.

“Well, you can’t talk,” said Charlotte. “You have your meals brought to you in a pail. Nobody feeds me. I have to get my own living. I live by my wits. I have to be sharp and clever, lest I go hungry. I have to think things out, catch what I can, take what comes.” (White, 1952, pp. 39-40)

It shouldn’t be a stretch to see where my head went, but I’ll explain anyway.

The past few days have been a sort of awakening for me.

Last Friday, I spent 90 minutes on the phone with Ardell DellaLoggia. I listened to her explain her desire to make sure buyers were represented properly. Then, just minutes later, Greg Swann , in a post comment, sent me a link to a string of posts he’d written about buyer representation. It hit me hard. I realized I had significant consumer bias that I was bringing to the table and a real, tangible lack of understanding about many specific aspects of real estate transactions. I also had no understanding about the history of the discussion around several key topics on this blog.

I know all about experimenter bias.

My Master’s thesis was on the use of colored pencils in the revised version of the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC-R). It was a double blind study that proved one of my professor’s classroom assertions wrong. It had to be double blind for one reason and one reason only – because we as human beings always bring some form of bias into any situation and can’t remain completely objective as a result. We try hard, but we can’t. So this results in the outcome of any experiment tending to be biased toward the result expected by the experimenter.

This holds true even when we’re not talking about science.

I can’t really talk about what you as real estate professionals do or don’t do on a daily basis. And no consumer can. Only other real estate professionals can. I can’t speak to the level of risk you take each time you enter into a transaction. I can only speak from my own anecdotal experiences from sitting on the other side of the table. So, every comment I make, every post I write, every thought I think, carries that bias. Sometimes the bias is stronger than other times, but it’s always there. I know I can make myself more valuable to everyone if I try to minimize my bias and learn as much as possible before jumping to any conclusion about a topic.

I’m not saying this to discount my opinion, or to say it’s not valuable because I’m not a real estate agent. My opinion has value, as a data point in the conversation, but my opinion is just one data point. And so is everyone else’s opinion. Each person, like it or not, depending on the level of their bias, is trying to influence the outcome towards the result they expect. Me included.

So, I am not able to talk authoritatively about anything other than my experience, or things I know to be statements of fact. I can certainly say, “Nobody feeds me. I have to get my own living. I live by my wits. I have to be sharp and clever, lest I go hungry. I have to think things out, catch what I can, take what comes.” Because it’s true for me as well. But I can’t say it in the same context that you, as a real estate agent can say it. It’s important that I remember that.

It would be best for me to listen more, ask lots of questions and make sure my comments are directed and specific and not generalized to the entire real estate population, when my experience is limited to those few I know and have worked with directly. I’m talking to myself right now, but I could be talking to every consumer.

And you can’t talk either.

You can’t speak with authority about how we as consumers FEEL about your value. Your bias about your value is too strong. Several real estate agents have said, in recent posts on commissions or value, that they “have never had a consumer, client or customer indicate that they think we make too much money.” These folks always point the finger the other direction. Even if these statements are 100% true of their personal experience, and all of these people felt comfortable sharing the truth of how they felt, generalizing that to the entire consumer population is a huge mistake.

It would be best for you to listen more, ask lots of questions and make sure your comments are directed and specific and not generalized to the entire consumer population, when your experience is limited to those few you know and have worked with directly.

We need to better understand each other.

Every individual real estate agent has the ability to focus solely on their own value, of course. If everyone is doing that, and doing it well, there shouldn’t be an issue. But they are not. So, the industry is being painted with a broad brush and the result is a great deal of misunderstanding and misinformation. If we want solutions that are going to bring real change and real value, we need to truly understand each other.

I’ve read Charlotte’s Web before, so I know how it ends.

At some point in their relationship, Wilbur wanted to spin a web to let Charlotte know he was intelligent too. (Sound familiar?) He made his attempt by climbing on the manure pile, and acting like her. He jumped and spun. He failed. He then tied a string to his tail. But he failed again. Charlotte eventually tells him to stop trying because he didn’t have the tools or the know how to do what she did.

But in the end, Charlotte, the bloodthirsty spider, became an advocate for her friend, Wilbur, the pig. She went to work to save him, even though she knew she was dying as well. She spun the words, “some pig” and “terrific” in her web and it was viewed as a miracle, and Wilbur was saved from his impending doom. And then Wilbur made sure her offspring were taken care of, and taken care of very well.

I’m not sure who’s being led to slaughter here. Some elements of the media want us to believe that we as consumers are being led to slaughter by REALTORS?. The federal government apparently would like to see the NAR led to slaughter. Several posts on AR yesterday seem to indicate that getting started as a real estate agent is so hard, it is like being led to slaughter.

One thing I do know – both sides need to better understand each other. I can’t talk about anything other than my side. We need you to be an advocate for us, not just yourselves. We need you to do the right thing. Save us. I believe that if you do that, we’ll take good care of your legacy.