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I love it when I’m able to read or witness geeks debating the finer points of TechnoGibberish. Seems most have never learned they’re in the <1% category about which most technology consumers couldn’t give less of a @#%&.

Though I harbor genuine and deep respect for those of you who’re able to help us TechTards, there are so few of them who actually DO help. It’s funny to watch, over time, as the vast majority of their ‘can’t miss’ predictions die ugly, without even an audible whimper from TechTards.

I bring this up in order to send you to a post I just read which has the most interestingly informing comment thread I’ve recently had the pleasure to read. I’d love to hear what the Bloodhound TechnoGeek posse has to say about the post, but am far more interested in hearing what they have to say about the comments.

For me, the comments were at times a revelation. I urge you to read every last comment — as I was riveted as various ’sub-threads’ emerged. But then I’m just a TechTard, right?

Here’s the link — I and my fellow TechTards will be waiting to hear from you guys.

Much thanks in advance for your TechTake.

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Such a simple phrase, yet apparently so difficult to execute. Agreeing with myself on what my purposes are was at the same time a task easily accomplished, and reminiscent of a root canal. Once they’re established, any goal flowing from them will almost always be accomplished. The importance of having purpose in our lives can’t be overstated.

I learned about purpose by analogy. Purpose is a map — any destination on the map, if we choose to go there, is a goal. The reason goals aren’t achieved, the root cause, is because the goal’s ‘destination’ isn’t on any of the ‘maps’ of the person’s purposes. If your goal is to go to Canada, but none of your maps include that country, it’s highly unlikely you’ll find your way there.

Experts have devised several methods to help folks discover their purposes. Frankly, I’ve always shied away from the concept of ‘discovering’ a purpose, as I’ve always inferred that to mean it was always there, so not necessarily my choice. We can decide at any time to change our main purpose for existence. One of the extreme examples of this truth was the Biblical story of Paul. In the story he not only radically altered his purpose, but reversed it — becoming the world’s strongest advocate for what he’d previously did his utmost to destroy.

So understand, the excuse for not having a guiding purpose cuz ya can’t ‘discover’ it is lame beyond description. We all decide what our purpose in life is, whether it’s a proactive decision or not. Furthermore, having that purpose will not only cause goals to be far more easily achievable, but will generate the goals resonating with the purpose itself. Who’d a thunk?

I don’t advocate any particular method to decide your purpose. Some write down purposes ’till one hits home. Some go to a quiet place and meditate, some even consult experts from different disciplines. It doesn’t matter as long as it produces a purpose with which you’re both at peace and big time excited.

There’s very little in the world more powerful than a purpose driven goal — unless it’s a purpose driven human being.

Your purpose is your map — are you trying to get places not on your current map? Are you living a purpose not of your own choosing? Are you constantly in flux cuz you simply don’t realize your goals are totally incongruent, if not in conflict with your purpose — stated or not?

When setting goals for your business, what’s your track record? It’s one thing to fail cuz your plan/strategy/execution was iffy. Failing due to setting goals in direct opposition to your purpose is self sabotage at it’s most elegant. A goal in misalignment with your stated purpose is maybe one of the most effective Trojan Horses ever. The irony is it was inserted inside your ‘city walls’ by you — guaranteed to fail from Day 1.

I review what I call my ‘umbrella’ purpose annually. It hasn’t changed since I set it in stone back in the ’70’s. The purposes safely underneath have though. This year I’ve deleted all of them in favor of one that seemed to be speaking to me every time I thought of the concept of purpose. I relaxed whenever it came to mind. It’s now, in fact, almost a tag line to my umbrella purpose. Sorry, but unlike some others, I tend to keep my purposes to myself. It’s not that I think it’s wrong to share one’s life purpose. It’s just that it’s not me.

I will share one thing — knowing my overriding umbrella purpose — the one whose approval I need to do anything in life — is part of my DNA, makes all the difference in the world. Take time out to name yours and see what a difference it makes.

One of the key differences in the purpose driven life, is how many decisions simply don’t hafta be made. They make themselves. When it becomes part of who you are, it becomes almost painful to establish a goal (much less work towards it) when it’s not aligned with your purpose for getting up every day.

Though downright hard times hit all of us, those with a crystal clear purpose in life experience far less stress, at least in my personal experience and observation of others. It may be your turn to take the E-Ticket ride in Murphy’s Barrel, but as a consequence of living a purposeful life, you won’t lose your way. Knowing in your heart of hearts the ultimate destination — driven by your purpose — seems to be a natural salve for the road rash caused by ‘Life Happens’.

Learn for yourself — Purposeful Living isn’t just a catchy phrase. It’s living for real.

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Note: By writing this post don’t get the idea I think I’m a goal expert, cuz I’m far from it. I do know however, what’s worked for me and a few others time after time. I offer this merely as food for thought, and a possible insight to your own goal setting history.

It’s about that time of year again. The kids have just gotten through their annual Halloween candy coma, Thanksgiving plans are either being made, debated, or negotiated, and signs of Christmas are beginning to show up in the cultural background. If you’re in real estate or a related field, it’s also about the time you see the office population begin to thin out a bit. While we sit somewhere, unawares, that little voice with whom we have a love/hate relationship begins whispering less than subtle hints about sitting down to review the year’s production vs the goals you so enthusiastically and meticulously set.

You sigh. Not just cuz you know this year’s production will probably make you look like a slug who came to work late and left early every day, but also due to all those other goals you simply gave up on, hoping they wouldn’t come back to taunt you at the end of the year. I especially like the physical goals like ‘lose 30 pounds’, knowing that even if you go on a juice-only diet ’till New Year’s Eve you’ll still weigh more than when you wrote the damn goal down.

Why do millions of us set so many goals and fail so miserably so often? Is there a common denominator? I think there is, and have been making use of the principle since the 1980’s.

I’d just become a father for the first time, and was visiting Grandma and Grandpa who lived just an hour or so up highway 15. Grandma had spent her alloted time with her new grandson (Um, alloted time is code for as long as she dang well felt like.) and found me sitting alone in her old school country sized kitchen. I’d grabbed the still warm raisin bran muffins she always made when she knew I was comin’.

I just asked her straight out, “Grandma, how come I fail so miserably at most of my goals?” Her answer became a pivot point in my life.

“Daddy told me the success of any goal I set for myself would first hinge upon its congruency with who I was, and what my purposes in life were. If the goal was aligned with one of those purposes, it would almost be impossible to fail.”

Really? It’s that simple? No way. But Grandma had never steered me wrong.

In retrospect, it sure explained a lot.

It filled in some blanks for me about why my real estate production goals never quite got traction — until I moved from selling houses to the investment side. Then I took off like a rocket. But why? Specifically why?

Again — simple as pie. I hated selling homes, as I couldn’t stand the irrational subjectivity of it all. I mean seriously, the color in the rooms is all wrong? Someone get me a gun. Yet dealing with sellers for me was a blast, even in homes. They were much more rationally results oriented, and tended to recognize reality when it bit ‘em in the ass.

So when I (lucky for me) began a farm by door knocking, my goals became reality, and much sooner than the deadline I’d set.

Then there were the physical goals I’d been making for years, though Lord only knows why. They wilted on the vine by Valentine’s day. How lame is that?

Yet my goals in bodybuilding as a teenager were regularly met and surpassed. What the hell? I asked Grandma about it. She said as a teenager I had an almost unquenchable purpose in life to excel in something. Bodybuilding was not just losing weight, or eating better, cuz I was thin then, and ate pretty well too. It was my purpose to become excellent at something, and know in my heart I’d in fact become excellent.

What happened? Within three years I was approved to compete in the Mr. Teenage SoCal (California?) contest. Didn’t get within sniffin’ distance of winning, but seventh was plenty fine for me.

Do you recognize this truth in your past? Maybe your present?

Some points to ponder.

1. Though we’ve all accomplished goals incongruent with our life’s purpose, they often are hollow and disappointing. The ‘Is that it?’ feeling comes when it was a goal you really hadn’t bought into at your core.

2. Is your goal something you want? If not, they’re much more likely to fail. Stop setting goals pressed on you by others, regardless of their good intentions.

3. The only worse thing than setting a goal inflicted upon you by others, is assuming a purpose for the goal that is unrelated to any of your life purposes. An imposed purpose is almost infinitely more failure prone than an imposed goal.

4. When you set a goal in perfect harmony with one of your purposes in life, the process of attaining that goal energizes and excites you. You approach the necessary goal achieving tasks with relish instead of dread.

Goal setting begs the question then, doesn’t it? What is/are your purpose(s) in life?

That is, until you know exactly what your purpose(s) in life is, setting goals is a waste of time and energy, at least in my experience. Even if I’ve accomplished a goal that didn’t align with a known purpose — a purpose I created — it was a hollow ‘victory’ and almost always a daily death march in the process.

Next up — What Grandma had to say about figuring out my own purposes.

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Sometime in late 2007 I ran into a guy who wrote weekly articles about the stock market, using what he called a Super Chart. He’s what’s known on Wall Street as a Chartist, a long established school of thought. He was mentored for several years by an iconic chartist whose name escapes me.

Anyway, his name is Max Whitmore, and he’s the real deal — and a half. He’s the most unassuming guy you’d ever wanna talk to. Yet his record is second to none.

The guy hasn’t missed a major market move since 1965. Those who listened to him before this most reason meltdown still have most of their capital. He’s guest posted at BawldGuy Talking the last two Mondays, and will continue to do so until he and I, along with Tom Vanderwell launch our new site.

Here are the links to his first post, and the one this past Monday.

I began talkin’ about Max a couple years ago. Then the national site who carried his posts in subscription form, dropped him. Their loss. Then something began to happen. Whitmore followers all over the country began to email me from my blog asking if I knew where to find him. They’d subscribed to his stuff, and missed him sorely. This went on for a year at least.

Meanwhile Max and I had become email buddies. I let this be known on the blog and the queries intensified. His followers are the poster kids for loyal. Anywho, go take a look. As I said before, Max Whitmore is the real deal.

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Preface: The year long retooling of my firm’s infrastructure is now well into its second year, mercifully nearing the finish line. To my great joy, I’ve rediscovered the Old School working definition of what an expert is. They not only know what they’re doing, they know why what they do works — producing, be still my heart, RESULTS. Or, in BawldSpeak, Skinned Cats. Expert recognition hint: Next time you’re talkin’ with somebody you suspect is an expert, pay attention to how many answers they supply to questions you never in a million years woulda known to ask. Then ask yourself in how many disciplines do you count yourself as an expert?

Ah, and there’s the rub.

When I first learned about the Lord’s game, baseball, the Dodgers and Giants had only been in California for a couple years. There was no Chavez Ravine — well, the ravine was there, but not much else. When a player was described as great, we all knew what it meant — he was, um, great. Now? Gimme a break. A shortstop up from the East Toilet Seat, Idaho AAA farm club makes a decent play on a sharply hit grounder two steps to his right and he’s the next Ozzie Smith — ‘What a great play that was!!’ Now, in baseball, as in all elite sports, the concept of greatness has no meaning whatsoever.

It’s like the Hall of Fame. Some of the players spoken of in the same sentence as the HOF are almost insulting to the Hall. It’s the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of the Really, Really Good. Again, the concept of true greatness has been watered down to the quality of prison gruel. Willie Mays was a great player. Is there a center fielder today you’d mention in the same breath as Willie?

The same goes with the concept of experts directly or indirectly related to real estate.

These days the concept of expert is shown no respect. If a guy’s in a room with 30 people and is three chapters ahead of the others in the marketing ‘book’, he can get away with calling himself an expert. Same with real estate, various internet tech disciplines, you name it. What makes it worse, and I’ve been a perfect example at times, is how we allow it. What’s worse than that is the incredible talent some have to convince themselves, then others, they’re experts in whatever.

BawldGuy Axiom: Recognizing a bona fide expert is akin to pornography — we might not be able to aptly define it, but we sure as hell know it when we see it — and when we don’t see it.

Many have said what success I’ve enjoyed as a real estate investment broker comes from long experience, stellar training, superior knowledge, the good fortune of world class mentoring, and the rest of the normal litany — surely not unique to my experience. Though obviously significant factors, without the catalyst of successful marketing, they’re like a good hitter sitting in the dugout cuz his manager didn’t pencil him in the lineup. All the expertise in the world doesn’t translate into a .350 batting average if you seldom find yourself in the batter’s box with a bat in your hands. Go figure.

We’ve taken the scenic root to arrive at this point:

Real experts in any discipline are rare by definition. Yet on the Planet 2.0 there are more experts than there are kisses under the mistletoe at the Playboy Mansion’s Christmas Eve party. Most of ‘em are merely ahead of the rest of us in the book of whatever it is they do.

Let’s talk marketing — off or online.

Back in the day I became convinced a well written letter, narrowly targeted, would reliably produce many quality at bats. (I know — what an original thinker.) I was right. But not until I gave up my amateurish efforts and hired a true blue direct mail letter writing freakazoid marketing guy to produce the letters’ content. Sure, I gave the outline, but he wrote the damn things from Dear Josh and Megan to the P.S. at the end.

His letters immediately began sending me to the plate with alarming consistency. I took over from there, and proceeded to have a run of record earning years. I’d found my vehicle. The average 1,500-3,000 piece mailing (hardly ‘mass’ by most standards) produced low to mid 5-figure income. Three letters produced six figures apiece. All of my efforts produced less than one of his average missives. As a direct mail expert, I made a helluva real estate guy.

Just as the word ‘great’ has been rendered almost meaningless in baseball and sports in general by those whose misuse of the language should be made felonious, so has the working definition of ‘expert’. The shameful thing about it? You and I are more than somewhat responsible, cuz we’ve hired these faux experts, paying them very real money, perpetuating their expert status. You’d think they’d fade away, the consistent lack of results acting as their judge and jury. But due to the thousands if not millions of available prospects, combined with the 2.0 world making us all a part of the same ‘local’ community — the world of faux expertise continues unabated despite their consistent failure to produce anything approaching tangible results.

In real estate, whether in homes or investments, the practitioner must produce the desired result(s) or learn to work sans paychecks. If only that were so in marketing. I’d have a quarter million more dead presidents buried in my backyard.

So when you think your marketing efforts are making the grade, check your results — Skinned Cats on the wall — then look in the mirror and call yourself a marketing expert without laughing out loud. Go ahead, we’re all waiting. Real marketing experts produce quality at bats for their clients. That’s the only thing that accords them any worth. Their patter, sans the production of quality at bats, is eerily reminiscent of what Charlie Brown heard when his teacher was talking.

So I pose the title’s question once more.

Would consulting a real expert produce superior results to what you’re experiencing now? OR, have you convinced yourself you’re as good as any of ‘em, so you might as well do it yourself? (Canned laughter inserted here.)

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I’ve learned to expect a lackadaisical attitude about what makes a pro in the real estate business. What’s been surprising is the way something as basic as physical appearance has seemed to be unrelated to any particular generation. I’m talkin’ about how agents choose to dress while on the job.

So much is said, often with the stentorian tone and diction reminiscent of Charlton Heston’s role as Moses. “It’s all about being professional.” “The public is looking for the agent who ‘gets it’ — somebody who is a real pro from A to Z.”

Blah blah blah.

Look, I get it about untenable summer weather. I’ve been in Phoenix in August. It sucks like a turbo charged Dyson. But correct me if I’m wrong, agents in hot climes don’t have client conferences, sign contracts, or meet with prospects in the middle of the Costco parking lot at 1:30 in the afternoon. It’s my guess they’re meeting, if not in the office, somewhere the wonderful invention of air conditioning is in use.

You wanna make the impression on folks you’re a pro? Act like one. Have an office like one. Dress like one. Behave as if a bored housewife couldn’t do your job just as well with 13 hours training. Pretend you actually understand why the public sees real estate ‘pros’ in general as not professional at all. The level of denial I’ve observed both off and online is scary when it comes to this stuff. I’m sure there are jeans support groups.

Casual Friday? How ’bout Casual Decade?

A professional real estate broker/agent with a tie on, meeting a prospect in a well appointed office, demonstrating obvious knowledge, experience, and expertise, is perceived as a real estate professional.

I used to love it when I worked for several years in a huge national office. My office was designed by a pro. I was always professionally attired. When you arrived you were greeted by a very well dressed assistant, and led to either my personal office or a larger conference room if necessary. By the time a prospect had been in my office for 10 minutes there were at least several questions that were never gonna be asked. Why? Because they were answered by the professional atmosphere in which they were immersed, which was then congruently underlined as I entered the meeting dressed the way a pro should be dressed.

You may argue, as so many do, that this is too Old School, that the public simply doesn’t respond the way they used to. To repeat one of my favorite sayings — print that little speech out, shred it, and sprinkle liberally on your lawn. You’ll have the greenest grass in your neighborhood before you know it. What a buncha crappola.

Are there exceptions to this on a kinda sorta cultural level? In some places I’ve done business I’ve literally been warned not to show up at speaking engagements or seminars wearing a tie. Fair enough — I get it. But that’s anomalous in my 40 years in the biz. The vast majority of Americans have an idea of what that may not be entirely focused, but like a lotta things in life — they sure know it when they see it.

Why do so many force themselves to prove to folks how really professional they are by showing up at a black tie event with a polo shirt and brown shoes? I’m a live and let live kinda guy, so don’t read any self righteous indignation or animosity here, as it really just boils down to my own experience, how I was first trained, and simple observation of others. Also, watching those I’ve mentored see how folks react differently when they don’t dress like corn farmers havin’ lunch at the local cafe has reenforced this belief countless times.

I’ve made minimum wage type money, and I’ve made a whole lot more. Funny how when you talk like a pro, work in an impressive yet understated professional looking office, and actually dress professionally, the public jumps to the conclusion you just may be a pro.

Go figure.

Again, it’s not my intent to offend anyone. Congruency is part and parcel of the image everyone’s been giving lip service to the last few years. Yet the same loud voices complaining about part time soccer moms with licenses meet prospects for the first time as if they’re pickin’ up Aunt Evie at the airport. Pick one, will ya?

Pros dress like it. They carry themselves like it. Their countenance loudly proclaims their consummate professionalism. It’s very analogous to the oft used “If it quacks like a duck” saying. A new prospect sees you dressed like you’re goin’ to the ball game, and in their mind, even if it’s only subconsciously, they’re waiting for you to do something, anything that smacks of professionalism, instead of offering them a hotdog and some peanuts.

Complain all ya want about your perceptions of what’s wrong with real estate, we all have our list. But please — realize you’ve lost business because of your lack of professional attire — I guarantee you have. And because you never knew it was happening in real time, you sit in your ignorance swearing it’s never happened.

I thought that way once too — when I was 17. Thank God I was trained to know how important it is to look like a pro as well as operate like one.

Again, live and let live — but you know I’m right.

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I wake up each morning listening to various radio programs, all sports talk shows with one exception. They’re interesting most of the time, and since there are three of ‘em, I can rotate ’till one grabs me. Earlier this week it was ESPN’s The Herd I think. Colin Cowherd talking about the difference between West Coasters and East Coasters and Midwesterners when it comes to discipline. Though they tended to generalize far too much geographically, their point was well made:

Great talent almost always loses out in the long run to great discipline. And great talent yoked to great discipline is nearly unbeatable.

When asked for an example he cited a couple elite teams — the Colts and Patriots. Both are Super Bowl Champs. Both have won far more than their share the last several seasons. Besides winning, they share another factor — they have more players with college degrees than the other teams. Discipline.

He then used Cincinnati as an example of a team with incredibly talented players but almost no visible discipline. Apparently Cincinnati, when translated, means Pay more attention to Me Me Me!! I think anyone who follows pro football can see the merit in these examples, as I did.

Don’t immediately jump to discipline in real estate or the mortgage business, look back on other things you’ve done in your lives that wouldn’t have been remotely possible without it.

I’ve had three hobbies in my life in which I’ve been involved at fairly intense levels. Bodybuilding, baseball umpiring, and running.

Anybody who’s done any of those seriously, knows it involves what Cowherd called grinding — or being a grinder. It’s a perfect description in my opinion. All three of those disciplines require very long periods of both learning curves, practice, and the gaining of real life, real time experience. All three of those is a grind, and there’s nobody but you doin’ it. You lift the weight, you study the rules and apply the correct on-field mechanics, you log the miles each day.

It’s a grind — there’s simply no pretty way to dress it up, is there?

Colin’s point was that those from the east coast and midwest are raised in “Grinder” cultures. Every day they work at getting better, at doing what’s called for, what will produce results ultimately. They watched their dads go to the factory, or mill, or office every day as they grew up. They saw the rewards for faithfully grinding it out — day after day after day.

I remember conversations with Brian Brady about his years on Wall Street, Phoenix style. He spoke of the newbies hired by the big ‘houses’ and how they turned them into 50-80 hours a week cold calling zombies — talk about the poster children for Grinder. But like Brian pointed out, what they learned from those months, which sometimes turned into years of daily grinding on the phone, was that in the end, grinders end up plantin’ their flags at the summit.

Finally, if you’ve never really experienced the life of a grinder, think back to that kid you used to privately smirk at, whose dream was something for which you thought he didn’t have chance number one. He made it though, didn’t he? You bet he did. We all know folks like that. They toiled in the fields to which their goals led them — and before we knew it, they’d accomplished what nobody thought possible for them.

Whether you’re IQ is 100 or 150 — whether you’re hugely talented or can barely get out of your own way — become a grinder and find out how miracles happen. ‘Course, the truth is, the killer results produced by the grinders of the world aren’t miracles at all, any more than a farmer harvesting wheat in October is a miracle after all the grinding work he did from early spring on — day in, and day out.

You may wanna read this too.

Grinders rule the world.

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Most of us can remember a time, sometimes even a specific moment when our spirit was so beat up it seemingly had to look up to see down. I’ve had those times. They come and go for all of us, and come in so many different forms. It can be financial, health, family, or a combination of all the above. Although in my head I’m still roughly 22, and even though I’m healthy as a horse, very fit, blah blah blah, I can remember bad times like they were last week.

I was first licensed in a recession — went full time after school was done in a recession — saw my first child born in a recession — see a trend there do ya? I’d be the last guy to claim having lived a hard life, though I’ve had my fair share of, um, challenges. In our minds we tend not to step back and extract the lessons life so generously offers to teach us. But we do learn from our times in the barrel, don’t we?

You’ll not meet many folks more private than I, on that you can bank. I tend to keep to myself, though paradoxically I’m gregarious and outgoing by nature. Today I had one of those moments when it seems everything goes into super slow motion, and you begin to ’see’ things you musta been missing. I’ll keep the subject matter to myself as it wasn’t directly about me, but suffice to say I was both emotionally and intellectually moved a great deal.

It reminded me of the lessons I’ve not only learned about life and living, but about myself — many of which were learned in the pressure cooker of desperate straits. I’d love to hear what some of you have learned when things in your life went to hell in a hand basket, but fair is fair so I’ll tell you some of what I learned in some of the darkest hours from my past.

I learned no matter how much family support there is, no matter how many friends there are, in the end we traverse through life’s most treacherous roadways alone. We make our decisions alone — even if it happens to be alone in a crowd. We deal with our thoughts alone. We deal, ultimately with our greatest fears alone.

I learned my spiritual faith was rock solid, deeply rooted, and part of my DNA. That’s a discovery I wish on everyone. Fortunately for me it happened when I was still a young man. It’s the reason I’m still standing today, and the reason I know nothing will ever defeat me.

I learned how to be brutally honest with myself. Those who know me know this about me. Knowing yourself is a gift most people really never experience. It’s value is priceless.

I learned who I’m not. Not net worth, what I drive, where I live, or any of those silly trappings. Finding out you’re the same person in all circumstances is akin to finding out you can never really be lost. Who you are is everything. Knowing who you are is the best weapon against whatever life throws at you. There’s a confidence from knowing who you are that transcends what usually passes for confidence.

I learned maybe most of all, that when I’ve suffered the most, when I felt the sun might never come up again, I was so very wrong. That no matter how bad things were, others were going through times so difficult it made my anguish and stress look like church summer camp.

Fast forward to the present.

The Stockdale Paradox is how I’d describe what some of us learn, even though sometimes, surely in my case, we’re unaware we’ve actually learned it. Admiral Stockdale was a POW in Viet Nam for a very long time, eight years — and the highest ranking officer. When asked how he survived both mentally, physically (including consistent torture) and emotionally that long, his answer was surprising to say the least. I first read about it a few years ago while reading Good to Great, one of the best business books I’ve ever read. I was reminded while reading a post today by The Mortgage Cicerone. Here’s what Stockdale said.

“I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

He was then asked, “Who didn’t make it out?”

He answered, “The optimists. They were the ones who said ‘we’re going to be out by Christmas’. And, Christmas would come and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. Then they died of a broken heart.”

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

You can help so many here by simply sharing some of the lessons you’ve learned from past challenges. What are they, and how have they helped you as life moved on?

Have a good one.

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So many of the lessons we’re taught growing up, or by life’s merciless classroom are not rocket science. First you learn to work hard, then you add work smart. Most of what we learn tends to follow that template. A brick at a time, right?

The teapot I’ve had for several years, and in which I boil water for my morning coffee, was lookin’ a lot older than it should. I wanted it to gleam the way it did the day I brought it home. So I found the elbow grease and broke out some serious scrubbin’ action. The results were, um, less than stellar. I tried all kinds of cleaners, different sponges and brushes, none of which produced. What to do?

Some time went by ’till I’d finished making coffee one morning and decided I’d spray one of the cleaners on the still hot teapot, then let it sit awhile. About an hour later I came in, used the rough side of a sponge, and quickly scrubbed and rinsed it. I repeated this twice daily for about three weeks. It’s shiny again! Who knew?

Seems the application of a mild solvent teamed with heat and time, followed by a little scrubbing — a couple times a day for 21 days or so, slowly but surely does the trick. It was an X brand cleaner, nothing special. The difference maker was showing up every day doing what had to be done. Again, not rocket science.

Like many of you, I belong to a gym, and workout frequently — usually six days a week. Due to tendon problems I’d let myself go, as I was pouting the last several years over the realization I was no longer a threat to Ahnold. (Talk about living in a fantasy world.) Then I met a guy who told me about a relatively different fitness approach, which wouldn’t, for the most part, mess with my tendons. It was anaerobic in nature, which in plain language means you’ll probably find yourself talkin’ with your long dead grandma more days than not.

I bought into the concept, and began in earnest March 1st. I kept goin’ regardless of what seemed at times to be lagging results. Almost five months later, I’m 27 pounds lighter, down 8½ inches on my waist, and my body fat is down over 30% from when I started. When I was itchin’ to goose the speed of the progress, I began adding 30 minutes on the treadmill after workouts in which I’d managed to keep my lunch down.

Same moral as the teapot. Show up when you’re supposed to, do what you know you should be doing, keep doing it for a long time. Results will happen over time — guaranteed. Even a poor plan, relentlessly carried out, will succeed — just not as well as a superior plan. Action mated to persistence — wed to quietly showing up every day like the sun rising in the east — will produce positive results.

We can’t be relentlessly persistent ’till we show up — not a minor point. Showing up, at least from where I sit, is the catalyst to the attainment of any goal. You’d think that would be self evident, but after decades of watchin’ agents in their natural habitat I can assure you it ain’t self evident to most of ‘em. Know what most of ‘em think holds the key to success? It’s a tie between another agent’s office, the coffee room, and happy hour.

Here’s an example of a poor plan executed religiously for a couple years.

It was waaaaay back in the day — I was 23, almost, and the market was in a recession, something I thought only happened to hairlines. (Little did I know.)

I knocked on 50-60 doors daily. Kinda sorta made it up as I went, following instructions from a book on farming — I wasn’t aware of any local farming experts or mentors. Most agents just picked a different neighborhood almost every time out and started knockin’ doors.

Anywho, it took about two months or so before I got my first listing. I kept refining the process, adding stuff, discarding what wasn’t working. After a year, I was getting about half the listings or more — after 18 months I was listing way more than half. Believe me when I tell you that when I first started talking to those folks, I was literally making it up as I went. But those home owners must’ve figured out I was gonna be there month in and month out regardless, as they began asking me in on cold or rainy days for coffee and pastry. I remember my broker at the time hated rainy days when I farmed, because he knew I’d come back to the office wired for sound.

All I did was start showin’ up, then kept showin’ up, then results flowed. Were there better farmers back then? My guess is they were all better than I was — how good could I have been for Heaven’s sake? But I was the one who kept showin’ up at their door.

So do yourself a favor, grab a plan, any plan, and begin a long, uninterrupted period of showin’ up — executing that plan like a dog with a bone. When the results start coming in, and they surely will, don’t act surprised, OK?

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Born in the summer of 1951, I’m one of those Boomers who’ve lived the transformation from simpler, more innocent times, to the hi-tech, everything’s gotta be in the fast lane, in your face 21st century. 1951? Possibly the best debut year in post WW II Major League Baseball, as both Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays broke in that year. I grew up watchin’ both of ‘em in their primes, as they played at levels normal human beings could only daydream about.

America was a country in transition. The big war victoriously concluded, albeit at horrific cost, the Korean ‘Police Action’ about done, and Boomers were being born by the dozens everywhere you looked. So many paradigms were shifting all at once it seemed. The GI Bill was sending thousands of young men and women to college — folks who before the war would only have fantasized about affording a college degree and the life it promised. Suburbs entered our vocabulary. Home ownership begin to grow at prodigious velocity. Cars became a must have item.

It all sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? It was, but it wasn’t all Channel No. 5 and Willie makin’ basket catches.

My memory really only goes back to around 1956, when I turned five, started kindergarten, and got to attend ‘regular kid’ Sunday school at Dad’s church. Of course, it wasn’t ’till much later in life that I realized why I had such a good time with the older kids — duh, I was the preacher’s kid, but wasn’t anything in the same zip code as a goody two-shoes. Yeah, even back then.

Ironically, like many in my generation I learned how Americans handled hard times by listening to my grandparents tell about the Great Depression. Once you’ve heard enough of those stories from folks who lived through it as teens and emerged as adults of tempered steel, you tend to shy away from self pity when hard times come knockin’ at your door — hard times hardly in the league about which they talked.

Grandma was the oldest of eight kids who were born and raised in rural Missouri. Hard times? Most don’t realize this, but hard times hit rural areas long before the big crash of 1929. In the mid to late ’20’s Grandma and Great-grandpa (also a preacher) several times headed out on a freight train, leaving the rest of the family to work on dairy farms in Ohio, pick crops in other surrounding states, or in one case shuck corn at harvest time in Nebraska. She was 14 when her dad began bringing her with him on those sojourns.

Hard times? Those were hard times. And that’s how Americans back then got through them. They relied on family and neighbors and themselves, making incredible personal sacrifices as a matter of course. It takes a village? My ass. It took rugged individuals who helped those who helped themselves. Their hard core sense of self reliance, responsibility, duty to family and those in need was fierce. Wanna know what was missing?

A sense of entitlement and moral relativism. Even those showing up at Grandma’s door, later on during the actual Depression, in Vista, California, would refuse even a sparse meal of scraps unless they could do something, anything to earn their way. The worst of it though was when, “We literally didn’t have anything to share — then being thanked for our kind hospitality.”

Hard times.

We’re in the middle of a giant helping of what my Uncle calls FUBAR. Don’t know what it means? Ask anyone who’s been in the military. It means things are screwed up pretty badly. Having lived through several recessions, I have my own sad stories, which I won’t share here, as my stories are surely no different than yours. I’ve stared into the black abyss alone too.

It’s an experience we’ve all had when times turn harder than Aunt Evie’s stare after you’ve crossed her. It’s the sudden awareness that your worst fears may indeed become the new reality in your life. The cold chill of desperate fear that sweeps through every part of you with a sometimes literal sense of temporary paralysis. It’s when we look directly into the black abyss — alone with our thoughts. It makes some, it breaks some — but it’s difficult to imagine it leaving anyone the same as before.

And the nights? Geez, Louise, Mytle — who hasn’t gone through a 20 hour night of your mind playing horror movies with you as the victim? It can be debilitating.

So many of those in real estate and related fields have been playing out the black abyss part of their life’s script lately. We all make that trip alone, regardless of our support system. It’s like major surgery — your family and friends will be there for you, but you’re still the only one on the table with a doctor standing over you wielding a scalpel. Support only goes so far.

I write about this only to remind you — you’re not alone — not by a long shot. Speaking only for myself and my past trips through the black abyss, I can tell you this without reservation. I came out a better person, with a stronger sense of who I am, and a steely confidence born only from the heat it takes to temper high quality steel.

I also discovered quite happily that my spiritual faith had been tested. Turns out my faith and beliefs were strong, and made stronger — a blessing from which I benefit to this day. There’s nothing like getting your priorities right, while learning you were up to the task.

Would most of us go through the black abyss again by choice? No sir, not me. But I’ll tell ya something that surprised me about myself — I wouldn’t go back and erase those experiences for all the gold in Fort Knox. There’s a freedom that comes with successfully staring down the demons that seem to arise in us during soul-wrenching, character testing, hard times.

There’s no feeling freer than the knowledge you measured up. You were knocked down, but not out. You emerged as a higher quality, tempered steel. And even better than that? Hard times will never scare you again.

Put a price on that.

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At 57 I still can’t decide if those insisting on always doing things themselves are deluded, arrogant beyond understanding, or so much brighter than I am, I’m doomed to forever be in the dark. The unrelenting confidence oozing from the pores of do-it-yourselfers piss me off if only on principle. How many times do they hafta reinvent the damn wheel — reborn as a richly elegant octagon — before they discover the problem is them? Of course there are usually so many questions they don’t even know to ask — their ignorance basks in the glow of never ending faux bliss.

Wanna know the problem with ignorance? Ya never know how much you don’t know. Why? Often cuz you’re a do-it-yourselfer. Today I’m speaking mostly to real estate agents, but the principles apply to any job. As an agent your bottom line job description ain’t rocket science. You’re either finding a home for someone or selling a home for someone — both in a timely and professional manner. As simple as that is to state, we all know from experience that’s a bunch of overflowing plates on our daily table. All the skill sets required to become expert in those two jobs can be daunting when one wishes to actually, you know, be an expert.

Those skill sets are learned. Mentors, company training programs, blogs, seminars/conferences, webinars, and even books are some of the vehicles carrying agents to the legitimate status of expert — combined of course with endless hours of repetitive study and practice. Yet how many times do we see a so-called expert, often self-proclaimed, wanting us to believe they did it all themselves? They all have brown eyes eventually, cuz spewing that BS long enough tends to turn ‘em that way.

You’re not an expert in online technology. You’re not an SEO expert. (Though you and I may be the only ones online who don’t claim that these days.) Let’s look at an incomplete list of related areas of expertise for which do-it-yourselfers fail miserably while belligerently maintaining they’ve mastered them. What a crock.

Using the web via blogs/websites to sell/list property.

Successfully employing SEO principles online.

Using ’social media’ in general.

Drip email programs. Or, more honestly put, how to stretch out the time it takes to finally get folks to threaten bodily harm due to your expert marketing. Don’t get me wrong, I think the drip approach works as well as intended — but only when designed/executed by an expert.

Direct mail marketing.

Postcard marketing.

There’s plenty more we could put on that list if we put our heads together, right?

Here’s how do-it-yourselfers convince themselves of their superior expertise. They compare their results to other do-it-yourselfers. Agents do this incessantly on blogs and at conferences, seminars, and REbarcamps. If it wasn’t so sad it’d be funny. Don’t misunderstand me — this isn’t a blanket indictment of those media — but seriously, the person on the stage is often the one who’s merely a couple chapters ahead of everyone else in the book.

In my time I’ve been a competitive bodybuilder, a marathoner, and an NCAA umpire, including post season. Was I a do-it-yourselfer? No, as I had more respect for those who were legitimate experts in those three fields than to demean their expertise in that manner. In the gym I was trained by a world champion one on one. When a runner, San Diego was blessed with numerous long distance experts who were nationally and sometimes even world famous. As an up and coming umpire, former major league umps and several with NCAA World Series experience trained me on the diamond, hands on.

The arrogance demonstrated by do-it-yourselfers who think they’re at levels they can’t even see, much less execute, is possibly exceeded only by the difference between what they think they know and reality.

This isn’t to say I don’t understand economic realities. Sometimes something is better than nothing, and good enough for now can become much improved over time. I get it. I’m not endorsing the typical agent who’s forever getting ready to do something — just prior to leaving the business. We all do what needs to be done if we’re serious. But when there’s a choice, please, stop with the I can do-it-myself as well as the expert, cuz you’re embarrassing yourself.

If you studied what a real expert does for six months you probably still wouldn’t know what they’ve forgotten. Harsh? Not really. The word expert has been bastardized second only to the word ‘great’ in sports. I was a pretty decent umpire, but I wasn’t within sniffing distance of Doug Harvey, a slam dunk expert, who was one of the best Major League umps who ever trod a diamond. I learned to train and run ever improving marathons, but was never on ESPN. With one exception I never finished in the top ten WOMEN in my age division. I competed in bodybuilding, once placing 7th in what I think was called Mr. Teenage So. California. Don’t be impressed though, as compared to the top three, my name might as well have been Nancy. Though I was trained by an expert for two years, they’d been trained by experts for 8-10 years. The winner went on to have quite a career, making several magazine covers. Talk about perception meeting reality. Crestfallen doesn’t cover it.

So can we please temper the do-it-yourself mania? It’s gettin’ on my last raw nerve. My son makes the argument the do-it-yourself era in real estate related skill sets has been slowly fading for the last year or two. He bases that on the observation that he doesn’t read any more about agents ‘…lying naked on the beach while the money pours in from leads generated from their miracle website, designed and engineered by them alone.’. Gotta love the way he puts things.

He further notes that those who’ve survived this latest cleansing have, to the extent affordable, ‘called the guy’ whenever possible. I hope he’s right.

‘Calling the Guy’ has been my M.O. since forever. I’m a real estate investment expert, but only a pretender when it comes to CRM, various forms of marketing, internet technology, and the like. Those thinking they’ve effectively mastered all those skill sets are either kiddin’ themselves, or truly are way smarter than the rest of us. That said, it’s amazing how many answers I get to questions I never knew to even ask when talking with a real life expert. Why would anyone want less than the best results possible?

What say you?

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Though there are a buncha things I read on this blog with which I disagree, there’s one thing for sure — there’s no shortage of reliable information. Also, expertise is freely shared by most of the contributors on what seems an almost infinite array of subjects. What this blog does best, from where I stand, is show the way to fellow pros to a more effective business.

Brian Brady, Sean Purcell, Chris Johnson and I seem to be the ones who at times address the other side of that coin — taking the ‘How To’ to the ‘Wow! This Stuff Really Does Work’ stage. Possibly the best nugget I’ve taken from BHB is Greg’s 20-something bullet point list for selling his listings. Talk about goin’ from the ‘How To’ to ‘Wow’ stage.

Brian’s a practitioner of what I call ‘Old Skool’ marketing. He’ll toss his latest marketing salad ’till it either produces or bombs. But even his bombs usually end up pointing him in the direction of enhanced success. He keeps doin’ what works, while never resting on his laurels.

Sean shows us where we may have unknowingly run outa bounds. He gently guides us back to the field of play, which is, after all, the only place any of us can ever score. He seems to have that sixth sense. You know the one — the ability to see what and why something will be effective. Or, better yet, how it can be made more so — like he did a few days ago.

Chris? Chris reminds me of Dad so much it’s freakin’ scary. If I believed in channeling I’d swear that’s what he’s been doing lately. If you read anything he writes and come away unsure about what he really thinks, you’re probably beyond hope. He says things other people are thinkin’, but don’t dare openly express. Chris is like the guy in the locker room listening to all the guys brag about their romantic conquests. Know why he’s quiet? Those that do more than talk are rarely loud about it. They just, well, do. Chris understands the #1 rule of sales: See/Talk to the people. Rule #2? Never violate Rule #1.

I’m not sure how to categorize myself, so I won’t. Suffice to say at times I endeavor to inspire, gently scold, encourage, or just plain call things as I see ‘em. Today’s thoughts are probably a mix of all those, but more a reality check than anything else.

Thought: I realize preparation and process have their place, but at some point shut your pie hole and actually do something which will end up with you in front of somebody who can either tell ya to go to hell, or do business with ya.

Thought: Stop frettin’ about how Steve the geek gets so many online leads. If he lists a couple properties monthly from his endless leads, and you list two monthly from your 1958 methodology, ask yourself — who made more money? (Don’t answer, it’s a rhetorical question, Einstein.)

Thought: Ever wonder how a mortgage guy like Brian keeps doing business when everything around him has changed umpteen times? Don’t bother him, I’ll tell ya. He changes what he’s doing when what he’s doing stops working. Guess that merits him a Nobel Prize, right? He can change vehicles faster than you can watch him do it — while gaining speed.

Thought: If you haven’t figured out by now that sales is about skinnin’ cats, you need to either change your thought process or put your job app into Von’s today. Nobody cares a whit about why you’re not pilin’ up new skins. They’re far more interested in how the guy down the hall skinned those three just last week.

Thought: You already know whatever it is you need to do to add more feline fur to your wall. You’ve done just about everything possible to avoid actually doing it. Seriously ask yourself why — give yourself an equally honest answer — than start doing it.

Thought: Those who’re still makin’ bank are the ones still doin’ whatever it takes to talk to strangers who just might tell ‘em to go to hell. Every time one decides you may actually have the solution to their need, perform like a champion, and act like you’ve been there before.

Suggestion: The ‘how’ is your job, but whatever you do to find new clients, do it every day without ceasing ’till you schedule at least one solid appointment with a serious minded prospect. Do this six days a week for 90 days. Care to predict the potential results? I care to.

There are 13 weeks X 6 days which = 78 appointments with serious people. Let’s invoke the 80/20 rule plus the concept of Life Happens and say those 90 days produced 62 belly to belly encounters.

If you show up to these meetings wearing Levi’s and a tank top, you should still trip over six cat skins. If you dress, act, and speak like a pro you should do WAY better than that. But even if you only do twice at well as a tank top wearin’ dufus, that’s a dozen deals in 90 days. If the average sales price is say, $150,000, and you make 3% on each of ‘em — that’s about o $54,000 — more than what I think is the median income for the average full time agent.

Question: Forgetting why you haven’t done this in the past, why wouldn’t you immediately put this strategy into play?

Why?

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It wasn’t until I was past 30 when it came to me, much like the cliché bolt of lightning. As is the human condition, I sometimes allowed circumstances to dictate my thoughts and actions, instead of rational thought dictating even more valuable thought, often followed by ever increasing productive action. Once I realized this, the lightning struck.

It’s been put a myriad ways, but my favorite has always been the one aimed for the mind’s jugular.

Simply put — those who endeavor to generate any result, immeasurably small or life changing, with the attitude based upon trying their best — are cowards, pure and simple. Sound harsh? Who among us doesn’t see examples of their lives in that truth?

In my recent post about handling change and adversity I alluded to this axiom. In essence it says — There are those who try, and there are those that do. In my experience, there’s no middle ground I’ve ever witnessed. The so-called ‘journey to success’ hymn is nice balm for those who never really succeed, but succeeding is a fairly easy concept to recognize when we see it. Succeeding clearly involves a journey, but when there’s consistently no ‘Point B’ to the infinite journeys on which one embarks, success hasn’t been attained. The journey as balm is nothing if not a substitute for actually getting something done.

“I’m gonna run a marathon.” Yeah, right. Can’t tell you how many times it took me ’till after the 20th mile to pass some 60-something year old guy who never once tried to run a marathon in his life. He just ran it. Come to think of it, one of my favorite running memories is coming in ‘3rd woman’ in my age group in a 20K race. Go figure.

I’ll quote someone who stared right through me as he said: “Don’t make excuses Brown, make good.” Lest anyone miss the deadly heart-piercing arrow in that admonishment, I’ll translate.

Triers make excuses while Doers succeed. Still don’t quite see it? Life doesn’t reward those who try. Real estate offices are almost completely populated with triers. Ouch!

Possibly the most insidious, (dare I say cancerous?) launching point for anything we attempt in life, no matter its size or importance, is the declaration: I’m gonna give it my best shot. Instead, why don’t you just skip the venture and move on to your next failure? Those who continually hide behind the wall of ‘best effort’ are masters of two things in life — the pre-installed excuse — and failure. It’s pathetic on its face, yet it’s supported, between the lines mind you, by the legions of triers who want support for all the goals they’ve driven into the ditch.

We all have a switch in our heads. In the ‘off’ position is try your best mode. However, the real juice is unleashed when you flip that most powerful switch to ‘on’. It’s the ‘Get ‘er done!’ switch. We all know folks who, simply put, go through life getting things done. Ironically their successes go mostly unseen, as they don’t really think much about what they’re doing. They’re lost in the act of, well, doing. They don’t understand how they’d ‘try’ to get something accomplished. If they didn’t think it was imminently possible — doable if you prefer — it wouldn’t be in their head in the first place. Why? Again, simple — they’re rational beings. They don’t wanna try to fly by flapping their arms. They may wanna learn how to fly an airplane though. Think they’ll try to fly an airplane or actually learn how it’s done? Don’t answer, it’s a rhetorical question.

How much would lives change if folks stopped striving for goals, no mater how big or small they weren’t committed to achieving? That sounds simple minded, but think about it, allow it to germinate and thrive a bit. What would you quit doing this instant if success was your only option? That my friends isn’t simple minded. In fact it can, and I can almost guarantee it will, lead to some fairly profound decisions. If it’s indeed a worthy goal, why wouldn’t success be the only option?

How does this apply to real estate?

That’s the easy part, cuz it sure ain’t rocket science. Break down everything on you plate as it relates to earning your income. Literally put it down in writing. Next to each entry mark it with either ‘Try’ or ‘Do’. To the extent you have too many tries and not enough do’s, you’ve defined the pothole in your ‘journey’ to success that will find you every single day.

Don’t get down on yourself. You’ve done the one thing triers almost never do — you’ve been brutally honest with yourself. Remember, those who try at life are pathetic, excuse making cowards. They KNOW they’re gonna fail, and they know why. Again, ponder that truth of life awhile. Don’t wince if you recognize a little (or a lot) of that thinking goin’ on in your head. The solution is no secret, and truly simple.

Flip your own switch to ‘on’.

Not buyin’ it? Try it on small things first. Better yet, let me give you some anonymous but real life examples I’ve witnessed in real life, in real time.

How ’bout the guy who found himself married with kids, a high school diploma, and a $2/hour job? He decided to get his degree in engineering. Took him over a decade. He did it. He’s now retired as a quality control specialist, having worked for several of the most successful aeronautics firms in the country.

Or the man who retired relatively early only to get the itch to be an attorney. Went to night school for five years. Passed the bar exam his first time out. As he’d always been a ‘C’ student and had put up with taunts from the ‘A’ student crowd, he visited their favorite watering hole when he got the letter from the state telling him he’d passed. There they were, consoling each other, crying in their beers. He asked them, “Hey, anybody know what you call a dumb ‘C’ student who passes the bar? An attorney! Next round is on me, geniuses.” Footnote: The guy never bought a textbook while in law school. He studied exclusively from the syllabus and various notebooks available in bookstores.

We see examples of doers in our lives daily.

Do you workout? Is your body either obviously changing or already of the hard, lean variety? No? You must still be trying, right? Been trying to ‘get organized’? How’s that workin’ out for ya? Both of these examples undress the trier for what they are — cowards. How hard is it to actually workout consistently, or get organized for Heaven’s sake? Don’t answer, cuz all you’ll do is embarrass yourself. We’ve all been there, right?

The most hurtful truth of all for the coward is to admit they’re even afraid of success. They ‘try’ everything, put on great shows of what’s designed to mimic doing. But they avoid the very idea of success. They’d rather guarantee failure behind a curtain of valiant faux effort than put themselves on the line and actually commit to doing anything.

And that my friends, is why the name of my new band is — Best Efforts Are For Cowards.

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Depending upon the last significant change in your life, the answer might be predictable. I remember the first time I earned six figures. I wasn’t even aware of it ’till the tax returns were finished. I was a little flummoxed when my wife asked me how I felt. About what? She thought I was kidding, but I’d only paid attention to the taxes owed. It marked a change in how I viewed not only myself, but the new frontier of what I almost immediately began perceiving as the possible.

We all have memories found on the opposite side of that same coin — financially hard times, illness, divorce, and the rest. It’s the changes precipitating sorrow, stressful times, and personal pain and suffering in whatever form that allow us the opportunity to, as Grandma used to say, stretch ourselves. With each passing year I understand more of what she meant
Who among us hasn’t felt the sting of failure smirking at us derisively? Hard times, whether personal, financial, or any of the endless combinations we’ve all experienced, come and go.

We’re the common denominators though, aren’t we? Regardless of what comes into and/or exits our lives, we remain the constant. Given that often unpleasant reality, how we respond tells much about us, doesn’t it?

Of course, there’s change and there’s Change. I wonder how many men and women in the real estate or mortgage business will respond with heroic efforts of which they never believed they were capable? I’m reminded of the much told story of the father whose son was diagnosed with hemophilia. It was before most of modern medicine’s breakthroughs, which meant the treatment was in short supply and therefore expensive — almost $20,000 a year. In the late 1950’s, early 1960’s that was three times the median income.

He was in straight commission sales, and up ’till then had done quite well, but hadn’t ever made more than $12,000 in one year. From that year forward he never made less than $40,000. He had a reason, depending upon how you look at it, to either ensure success, or avoid failure at all costs. In his mind, there was no choice, and therefore no reason he’d accept for failure.

Be fair to yourself, if only in the privacy of your own thoughts. Haven’t you risen to the occasion more than once? Maybe not in such dramatic circumstances, but haven’t you? Bet ya have. Life happens to us all.

The silver lining as I see our country’s current travails, is that most folks are affected directly or indirectly. Knowing you’re not rowing that leaky boat alone makes things a little easier to swallow — or at least human nature seems to tell us so. Bad times shared, plus a little well timed empathy can make a difference — often the difference.

There are conversations we dare only have with ourselves. I’ve developed a theory our brains emit a chemical acting as a natural truth serum when we really need to get down and dirty with life’s brushback pitches. For me, it was in 1979 when what comes out of the south end of a northbound cow hit the high velocity spinning blades. The epiphany that truth serum produced hit me hard. What made it worse was that it wasn’t really new information — just something about which I’d been in deep denial.

It was more a matter of realizing the real worth of something I’d been woefully undervaluing — irrationally so — for my entire career. The decision to immediately begin applying the principle I’d been ignoring was the genesis of multiple positive consequences. I’m being intentionally vague because the principle isn’t the point here — not by a long shot.

The point, is coming to what you personally know to be true — which ain’t what you’ve constructed over the years while avoiding said truth.

As a son, grandson, great-grandson, and nephew of five ministers, I’ve come to look at the aforementioned ‘truth serum’ as a sort of catalyst leading directly to a Come to Jesus Meeting inside my head. I think that’s what happened to the father in the story. He didn’t have a magical experience. No Angel of Sales came to him with the secret to his newly found success. His vastly improved results were reaped immediately. The change was between his ears — or, if you prefer, in his heart.

He did what most of us do when we decide to make a stand.

We don’t try — we do.

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Transparency in real estate brokerage has gone from a truly noble concept to a weapon sometimes lethally wielded by the PC crowd. Most notably bullies coming forth claiming to possess Holy Script describing transparency, no doubt salvaged from what must be the third tablet lost by Moses on his way back down the mountain.

Transparency is honest dealing from a basis of rock ribbed integrity — nothing more and nothing less. The rest is self righteous dung.

I dare you to demand to know what your dentist, doctor, CPA, attorney et. al. are netting from fees they charge you for their services. What a joke — a bad joke, but a joke nonetheless. Who do these buncha Kumbaya, hand-holding yahoos think they’re kiddin’ anyway? Transparency my ass. They want information their parents/grandparents would’ve had the good manners never to seek in the first place. Why? Cuz it’s none of their damn business and they knew it. Of course that begs the question that so much of what they ask for is wholly irrelevant.

When shopping for a doctor, what’s important to you? Is it ultimately expertise, experience, cost, or how much he’s netting? Do you divide there fees by the time spent with you? When you read that, doesn’t it come off as a stoopid question on its face? Dunno about you, but when deciding upon a service provider I look first and foremost for results. (Oops, there I go again, lobbying for a business world based upon merit.) If there’s more than one provider on that short list, then we get down to a more detailed examination — comparing the aforementioned, here’s that pesky word again — RESULTS.

My favorite uncle just had successful minor (oxymoron?) heart surgery. He’s a pretty smart guy, one of the smartest I’ve ever met in person. Please tell me without stuttering or launching a personal attack, how knowing his surgeon’s profit margin, or any info like that, would’ve aided him in deciding who was gonna repair his heart? And pretty please, don’t bring me the usual weak crappola about ‘how can you compare real estate brokerage to heart surgery’. They’re both services, they’re both expensive, and they’re both more important than 90% of the decisions most folks make in their lives.

Let’s be specific now and talk about so-called transparency in real estate.

You wanna know my private business? You better carry my DNA and/or share my name — and even then it’s barely 50/50 you’ll get an answer. It’s known as my business, cuz it’s, well, my business. When does it become yours? I’ll be the judge of that 100% of the time. There, did I make myself understood? If you’re my client I owe you my very best effort, given with the utmost honesty and integrity.

Ultimately my clients, and my fellow brokers/agents, if they’d endeavor to grow a spine, get to know what I’m willing to divulge. Don’t get all froggy, I give up plenty of info to my clients.

They hear point by point exactly what I’m gonna do to put their property into escrow and close it. They can ask questions about anything I may recommend they do or refrain from doing until they’re completely satisfied. They can ask me what I charge and why. They can ask me what I net too, they just won’t ever get an answer.

All that said, is there a place for ‘transparency’ in real estate brokerage? Of course there is.

If an agent is getting paid by related services (legally of course) it should be volunteered to the client, not disclosed as an answer to a question. Our policy has been to eschew any pay from management firms, etc. so as to avoid even the appearance of evil. If there’s a referral coming from another brokerage, that is immediately disclosed.

Everyone knows what I’m being paid, and everyone makes up their own mind it’s worth it — or not. Do I negotiate? Yeah, about once a decade or so. Here’s what I charge, I’m an open book as to what you’ll get in return, take your best shot — but that’s what I charge. Did I start out doing that? No way. I earned that by producing the desired results over the long haul.

How many hours I work to produce the results for which I was hired is a false issue. I’ve made $5,000 an hour and $1.50 an hour. Back to our heart surgeon. $10,000+ for 90 minutes? Yeah, that’s the fee? You want the work done, or not? Next.

What a consumer agrees to pay their real estate agent is, in reality based upon the level of difficulty it’d take for them to replace that particular agent. Owners sell properties themselves all the time. Brokers discount their services too. Geez, sounds like a free market to me. Those who can deliver quality RESULTS quickly and reliably are the prize for which consumers are searching. Treat them with honesty based upon unyielding integrity and you’ve passed the transparency test.

What I object to is the implied contention by the Transparency Police that part of a free market includes an attitude of entitlement which by definition (theirs) says I hafta pull my pants down and say Mother May I in order to be considered appropriately transparent. When pigs fly.

Sack up people.

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