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There’s always something to howl about

e-ting disorder

it’s not that i don’t want to control my own virtual weight. au contraire, mes amis (i am my own worst higher power). there just isn’t an app for such a thing in the itunes store yet.  i’ve been existing on 140 characters or less for months now, purging what isn’t vital (caps and font size to name a few), and withering away to mere silicon and bones.  when i check my profile in the mirror an unfamiliar bot stares back.  and,  just between us bffs, he looks a bit bulimic since he all but eliminated spam from his diet.

he had me delete all my firewalls and security programs because he couldn’t trust which were real and which were fugazis. no doubt, a 17 year old megalomaniac from the ukraine is stealing my identity as we speak. (the joke, of course, being on him.)  all my listings have mysteriously expired from realtor.com.  good luck with that, comrade.

what i fear now is  this: if  all these ones and zeros ever do bio-degrade and dissolve into the ozone will there even be a digital record of my existence? i lost all my paper records in a basement flood two years ago and never did get that book published. paperback. yuck. too rich.

all my really good thoughts are in the notes section of my iphone; as is my music library, email, contact ppl, precious family pics and vids, restaurants on speed dial, calendar of my life—past, present and future. rss feeds, maps, passcodes, swiss acct #s, etc.  u can listen to  my voice on the greeting if  u wish to get personal although i politely request that u don’t. my battery life doesn’t permit such things and my mailbox is redlining @capacity. but if u must…lv a mssg.

i find myself praying to @god for guidance but alas, nada. i get an instant message that my spiritual tithing has slacked off and that my universal pay-pal account is about to be condemed to….fail.

alert. my karmic credit score has just been lowered.

all i can conclude is: if anorexic realtors hate the way they look on the outside…. @lord only knows what they are saying about mobile-me. #

g

sent via iphone

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  • 5 comments

    5 Comments so far

    1. Mark Martin January 28th, 2010 9:23 am

      I can relate. This techno world is eroding what was tangible. When you can fit the archives of the US Smithsonian on a thumb drive and virtually tour the museum something doesn’t seem right. In the movie Wall-E the future humans are portrayed sloths. If technology keeps stripping away our need to physically do things …well, who knows?

    2. Greg Swann January 29th, 2010 9:24 am

      I didn’t want to leave this post unremarked. This was just plain fun, a very clever take on tech.

    3. Geno Petro January 29th, 2010 9:59 am

      tyvm

    4. Brian Brady January 29th, 2010 6:16 pm

      We both see the same things but you just see them for what they are.

      i <3-ed it

    5. Anne February 1st, 2010 8:26 pm

      Brilliant! A diet I can live with = under 140 characters a day, ditch the spam! Just marvelous!