Friday can be my dread day. I write a small real estate column for the West Valley sections of the Arizona Republic. That is not nearly as sexy as it sounds. They give me 350 words — might you have guessed that I can go on at greater length? — and then they frequently cut it down to 275 words or so. I like to make it very practical, first because I’m really not the potpourri and feng shui type of Realtor, and second because so much real estate coverage in the media is do daft, so wide of the mark.

But Friday can be a rough day if I’ve said anything even remotely controversial. I’ll get angry — but anonymous — phone calls from testy Realtors and brokers all day. Their being angry is fine. I just wish they wouldn’t waste my time venting their ire on the phone to me. Coming in anonymously — no name, no disclosure of license status, no brokerage affiliation, Caller ID blocked — is cowardly.

How much time do you think I should spend worrying about the opinions of people — supposed professionals! — who won’t stand behind their views publicly?

Yesterday’s column unearthed the mother-lode, of course. One caller, who sounded just like Mr. Mackey in South Park, told me that she had 22 years’ experience in real estate, m’kay? And she had never read anything as stupid as my column, m’kay? She hopes, sincerely, that I can amend my ignorant ways, m’kaaay?

For the record, I am an Accredited Buyer’s Representative, a Certified Buyer’s Representative, a Certified Residential Specialist, an E-Pro Internet Certified Realtor and a Graduate of the Realtor Institute. I hold a broker’s license, for goodness sakes! If I don’t know what I’m talking about by now, I never will.

Another caller spent two very obscene minutes in voicemail telling me what an idiot I am. The gist of it was that buyers should be down-on-their-knees grateful that the seller is giving them the opportunity to build equity. Then he said, “Of course the [frolicking] buyer pays for everything! You buy something, you pay!”

Oh. Yeah.

I do hope some of these folks have exerted an effort greater than an anonymous phone call. If they make their way here (first you Google on “Bloodhound Realty”, then you click on BloodhoundBlog), by reading our posts and following the links, they can discover that there is more to real estate than what they learned in pre-licensing class. Twenty-two years ago.

But they really should stick around. Next week’s column is going to be a doozy.

M’kaaaaay?

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