“We see things not as they are, but as we are.” — Anthony de Mello
For my first at-bat in the big leagues, and taking a queue from the kind introduction from Greg, I wanted to talk about a concept that we use with great success in providing our customers with a sense of stability in the current turbulent marketplace. If you think that this market is “not bad,” “just going through a rough patch,” or similar, please keep reading. The concept is called “framing reality” and it intentionally puts us in our customers’ shoes so that we can provide solutions that impact and make sense in their reality rather than just in our own.
The concept stems from the quote above, and is based on the premise that everyone, us included, has varying degrees of ego-centrism that distorts our worldview in one way or another. We each have a lens that we view the world through, and whether it’s rose-colored or other, it skews our world view — our perceived reality. When we as consultants, guides, Sherpas, whatever you want to call us (just please not hucksters and thieves) are able to align our view of reality with the customer’s, both of us stand to gain much more than if we provide a solution that is based solely on our frame.
An example of what “framing reality” is not are the new Realtor&174; ads that feature the tag “now is a great time to buy”. While it may be true in various parts of the country and in specific circumstances, it’s a tough sell to Joe Public right now. It rings a bit hollow if you’ve spent any amount of time talking with home owners, seekers, sellers. The prevailing mood is not one of “great time” it’s a bit more angst filled. The ad doesn’t do a good job of framing the reality as its perceived by many in the target audience and so it misses the mark. It’s a poor ad.
Another example of what the concept is not is “selling fear.” Selling fear is a despicable tactic, illegal, and definitely one of the poorest choices to make in sales. The people that sell fear deserve whatever type of karma beat-down they receive in the near future. Finally, “framing reality” is not “distorting reality” nor is it painting a fantasyland that helps line your pockets. This concept is about maximizing the assistance you can provide to a customer by clearly understanding their point of view.
- Understand that if you can’t accept or be relevant to your customer’s point of view you have a near-zero chance of winning their business. Building rapport is nothing new, but if you’re seeing sunny days and they see storm clouds you’ll never bridge that chasm and you’ll lose that customer. Now, if you can see the sun starting to break through those storm clouds and can deftly plot a course through the weather you’re working in their frame.
- Every customer has their own reality, their own point of view. Trying to change that is near trying to change their political affiliation. If you can’t accept it as a valid viewpoint, you can’t actively work in the customer’s best interest to improve their situation in the context of their reality.
- It’s up to you to frame your solution in such a way that it provides the maximum benefit to the customer based on their view point — not to maximize your benefit! This is a vital point. Providing maximum benefit to anyone but the customer is no longer “putting yourself in their shoes;” its manipulating them to choose a sub-optimal path for your benefit. If you are doing this, don’t let me find you, I’m big and in good shape.
- You must become an advisor providing a clear path and offering concrete choices to navigate their reality. Identify clearly the obstacles facing the customer and provide a logical, visible path through to the objective.
- Defeat paralysis. Many customers can become overwhelmed by doubt, myriad choices and fear. Help them be proactive about their situation. I am not suggesting that action is always best, quite the contrary. What I am suggesting is: empower the customer to decide either; yes, I want to take action, or, no, I have made an active decision to stay with my current situation. Either way, a thoughtful decision has been made based on the merits, which is much better than situation avoidance.
- Win by being relevant. Be the expert Sherpa and navigate your customers through their obstacles and to a better place in their reality.
Whether you’re in realty sales or mortgage originations remembering that “We see things not as they are, but as we are” will go a long way toward earning the trust of your customer and providing you a key differentiator from the rest of the pack. Try to think of some examples that you encounter each day that could benefit from this type of thinking. It allows you to quickly shift gears while providing excellent service to customers.
A final anecdote, today I spoke with (on back to back calls) two people: one person who was about to lose their house and had no other option but to sell and second a person with perfect credit who wanted to improve their long term financial situation. Completely different frames, completely different realities, completely different sets of shoes. I challenged myself, “Can I be relevant to both of them?”
Jeff Brown says:
Welcome!
March 28, 2007 — 8:59 am
Mark Ballard says:
I appreciate the concepts you’ve outlined, and their relevance to so many other parts of life.
However, I’m not sure I want a dominant characteristic of my loan officer to be: How well can he/she diversely ‘frame’ current conditions? Rather, I want them to be able to give me more measurable, objective, and predictable measures.
On a side note, the quote (or something remarkable similar) you started the post with is often attributed to Anais Nin.
March 28, 2007 — 5:35 pm
Morgan says:
Mark,
Thanks for your thoughts. First, on the quote, you may be right, I saw it attributed to no less than 3 people in my quick Google research. I picked one and went with it.
Second, you make a good point and that was the point that I hoped to illuminate when I said that framing for your personal benefit is not what seeking relevance is about – its about finding the “measures” and objectivity in that person’s world.
A hypothetical example (which I should have put in my post, but omitted for fear of becoming long-winded):
Person A is looking to refinance their house, they have 770 FICO score, own three properties, one main residence, two for investments. They are lawyers and own their own firm. They have assets well in to the low 7 figures, and have investments ranging from mutual funds to stocks, bonds, and the aforementioned property.
Person B is looking to refinance their home. The are a mid-level supervisor at a major health care firm. Her husband owns his own contracting company who do primarily small business work locally. They have 3 kids, two in high school. She has a 401(k) that she’s done a good job in contributing to it. When she was pregnant her husband was hurt on the job forcing them to miss 2 mortgage payments about a year and a half ago. They also had to live off of credit cards during that time. They recently bought a car for the high schoolers to share, and need to replace a leaky bath tub. Their high school kids have aspirations for college.
The “…more measurable, objective, and predictable measures” are different for each scenario. That is where the frame comes in.
If I provide borrower one with the same “objective” solution as borrower two, and vise versa, I will have not helped either of them to the best of my ability. That is what we mean when we talk about the frames.
For borrower two it is probably going to be a loan that helps them pay off some mounting bills and perhaps gets them some cash for repairing the tub and preparing for college expenses. We’re also going to be limited because of their credit history and possible income limitations. If I talk to borrower two about taking a 15 year fixed mortgage to pay off their home faster at the best interest rate possible we’re going to be irrelevant at best and damaging if we’re convincing enough.
For borrower one, if I’m not talking about equity and asset management, their financial philosophy, their financial advisory circle and any trust or estate planning; and how they see real estate folding in to the equation, then I am irrelevant at best and sub-optimal when I earn their business.
I hope this clarifies our position of being relevant. I think that it shouldn’t be the dominant trait, honesty and knowledge come first, but its damn important to success. The point being is that there isn’t an “objective” one size fits all strategy in mortgages. There are many unique and diverse situations that all deserve a tailored solution. (And by tailored I do not mean a solution that is tailored to the originator’s success and profitability.)You succumb to the commodity part of the industry when you look at loan solutions like McDonalds; “You can choose whatever you like as long as its either a number 1, 2, or 3.”
March 28, 2007 — 9:27 pm
Brian Brady says:
http://activerain.com/blogsview/66454/New-Mortgage-Voice-on
March 29, 2007 — 9:39 pm