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There’s always something to howl about

Buy a McMansion, get a free McVisa. And, if you act right now, we’ll give you two McVisas for every McMansion you buy. (Just pay separate shipping and handling.)

I could say I wish it were a joke, but the entire United States government is becoming a joke: Senator Charles Schumer (D-Hades) wants to give free visas to foreign nationals who buy luxury real estate:

Foreigners have accounted for a growing share of home purchases in South Florida, Southern California, Arizona and other hard-hit markets. Chinese and Canadian buyers, among others, are taking advantage not only of big declines in U.S. home prices and reduced competition from Americans but also of favorable foreign exchange rates.

To fuel this demand, the proposed measure would offer visas to any foreigner making a cash investment of at least $500,000 on residential real-estate—a single-family house, condo or townhouse. Applicants can spend the entire amount on one house or spend as little as $250,000 on a residence and invest the rest in other residential real estate, which can be rented out.

The measure would complement existing visa programs that allow foreigners to enter the U.S. if they invest in new businesses that create jobs. Backers believe the initiative would help soak up an excess supply of inventory when many would-be American home buyers are holding back because they’re concerned about their jobs or because they would have to take a big loss to sell their current house.

“This is a way to create more demand without costing the federal government a nickel,” Sen. Schumer said in an interview.

I love this on so many levels:

First, it’s more Rotarian Socialism: Subsidize the rich, since it’s their over-built, over-priced houses that aren’t selling.

Second, the proposal makes plain that U.S. immigration policy is just more Rotarian Socialism claptrap: It’s not about securing borders but securing pocketbooks.

But third, who wants to come here now? Not only is our economy crushed under the weight of a century of Rotarian Socialist kleptocracy, but there are actual proto-cannibal savages congregating in the public parks, goading each other into a homicidal rage. Any sane millionaire would have to say, “I left São Paolo for this?”

As always, Matt and Trey have the best answer to cant: “Vamos, Mantequilla!”

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  • 10 comments

    10 Comments so far

    1. Jim Klein October 20th, 2011 11:15 am

      Oh, too funny…what a hoot! I’d like to credit you with a great sense of humor, but I think we mere mortals could never think of something as funny as this.

      No, that takes Leaders.

    2. Sean Purcell October 20th, 2011 1:50 pm

      I don’t understand your beef. This idea is brilliant! Just look at the facts:

      >it helps the homeowners who need it most (the ones with nice, fat listing prices),
      >it helps the neighborhoods who need it most (or will after I get done marketing this terrific program door-to-door),
      >it helps the buyers who need it most (the ones that don’t know anyone locally and will therefore save time and money by using me to represent them on both sides),
      >it helps the politians who need it most (the ones accused of not protecting the borders from all those “wrong” kinds of aliens, who need to raise the median on their “wrong” kind / “right” kind scale),
      >and it helps the industry who needs it most (the REALTOR industry: where “The right time to buy is now!”)

      Come on Greg, let’s stop rocking the boat and join the winning team. There’s money to be made; hell, it’s almost as if they’re bribing us to just keep it all going! What could be wrong with that?

      Join me… get behind this Senator – this man of action. It’s time we all worked together and tightly wrapped yet one more band-aid around the housing problem…

    3. Agata Grudzinski October 20th, 2011 6:42 pm

      100s of illegal emigrants are crossing over the border.Many with plenty “dough” in their packets.Why not at least make them buy,invest( read:pay taxes) just like the rest of us do? They’re already here.Or should we just mail them free green card at will?

    4. Michael Lewis White October 20th, 2011 6:57 pm

      I love your post title. Also really enjoyed the South park video. I don’t watch that show because too much of it’s irreverent humor grates on my nerves. But this little clip was funny.

      I can’t muster the almost religious fervor that Sean has displayed in support of this bill, but I can’t see why it shouldn’t be passed. If someone wants to spend that kind of money, I don’t see why we would say no.

      Of course I am not the type to be scared of foreigners.

      I also think you could have done without the last paragraph of the original post. Just doesn’t sound very patriotic to me.

    5. Sean Purcell October 20th, 2011 7:33 pm

      Ooops…

    6. Robert Worthington October 21st, 2011 4:46 am

      I second Sean Purcell’s idea, but I think you’re all a punch of foreign racists if we don’t give these citizen’s to be a “super-delegate vote” as an extra incentive, to buy luxury real estate.

    7. Greg Swann October 21st, 2011 10:26 am

      > I can’t muster the almost religious fervor that Sean has displayed in support of this bill

      He was being arch. The age we live in is all but beyond satire, alas.

      > I also think you could have done without the last paragraph of the original post.

      Mantequilla is butter in Español, hence it is Butters’ chosen name in the boys’ Border Patrol game. “Vamos, Mantequilla!” is the cheer the repatriated indocumentados shout to Butters.

      You should give South Park another chance. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have my vote for the greatest satirists in human history. This episode, “The Last of the Meheecans,” is a prime example of their surgical brilliance.

    8. Jim Klein October 22nd, 2011 10:54 am

      I guess everyone’s sense of humor is different. This is getting great, straight play on the news with an emphasis on “bipartisan support.”

      No shit, eh? What a shock. Pretty soon laughing itself will be criminal.

    9. Teri Lussier October 24th, 2011 4:41 am

      Gee. And here I thought Sean’s comment was funny…

    10. Jim Klein October 24th, 2011 12:01 pm

      Me too, Teri; I thought it was great. I hope nobody reports us.