There’s always something to howl about.

One simple step advertisers and Realtor associations can take for a cleaner, greener world: Stop printing stuff!

I’m in the process of cleaning my desk. Pause a moment and consider how big a chore has to be before it becomes a “process.” I did the lawnmower job yesterday (with poor Cameron hauling away the clippings, as it were), and I’ll tackle the finessing, the trimming and edging, in spare moments today.

But while I was working late yesterday, I had a blinding epiphany, a magical, mystical, miraculous method to keep my desk clean forever:

Would everyone please stop printing stuff!

I threw away half a landfill of Realtor association debris yesterday: Realtor magazine, the state and local newsletters, etc. I threw away two years’ worth of CRS membership directories, both still unopened in the boxes they shipped in. Miscellaneous Realtor magazines, direct-mail promotions I thought I might want to have a look at, the goofy workbooks they hand out at advanced-designation classes, etc. Piles and piles of paper — disorganized in the piles, but disorganized in essence, inherently non-searchable and thus inherently useless.

I thought about hanging onto the Realtor magazines, but why would I? I don’t have the time to give to everything I want to read on-line. I have almost zero time for printed books, which at least promise to repay their marginal time-cost in information density. (A marginal calculus of reading!) It could be that there is something in all those unread magazines that I cannot discover on the net. But, second-for-second of my time, I will learn so much more working the way I do now that I cannot risk wasting my time prospecting through random atoms for a nugget of gold that may not even be there.

And: Where paper is static and dead, in the net.world, good ideas get echoed. If anyone, anywhere dug up gold in a dead-tree artifact, I will run across that idea a dozen times over the course of a year on the net. The web is dynamic, self-correcting and searchable. Atom-based media are inherently inferior to electronic media.

That’s not all. Half of the dead-tree detritus I threw away yesterday was yammering about the fundamental religious virtue of being “Green.” Rationing is the conjoined-twin of Socialism. The price system is the ideal means to maximize any resource. Even so, it is beyond absurd needlessly to kill thousands of trees to sing hypocritical hosannahs about Greenitude. The organizations we belong to want to justify their outrageous dues by giving us something tangible for our money. If they stop this wanton printing of suboptimally-formatted information, they could “do something” for the environment and leave more “green” in my wallet.

In truth, some of what I threw away yesterday was paper I myself had generated: Listings, especially, and tax records, but also random notes on scraps of paper, index cards, Post-It notes, etc. I intend to cut back as hard as I can on this, too. But in terms of gross volume, the press was by far weightier than the pen.

So: Given that we have a more perfect medium before us, broadcasting the intangible work of the mind in infinitely recyclable electrons, can we please stop producing what amounts to highly-organized trash? For my own part, I’m done. I never want to do this job again, so I’ve resolved to throw printed-matter away the second it hits my desk. You might as well stop sending it. I’m not going to make time for it now, I’m not going to make time for it later, and I’m not going to let it accumulate on my desk for months and years before I get around to throwing it away. Magazines, newsletters and direct-mail packages are trash that missed the trash can — but not for long.

Do you want to get my attention? Come up with a great idea — and then promote it on-line. No longer will I let you pollute my environment with your wasted paper.

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