There’s always something to howl about.

If a dog looks into a mirror…

Eight or so hours and counting until the Time Square ball descends for the 51st time during this writer’s mortally toiled watch; so, barring any behemothic transpiration  between now and the instant I press the Publish button, my work for 2007, as a blogger, is done. I’ve tossed it around mentally for a day or two and concluded that I do in fact, have a thing or two left to say before the expiration dates on these few, lingering thoughts—well, expire; a couple smart snippets, perhaps worthy of a final comment or two, before the twelfth dong of the gong bongs eternal, and I kiss whomever is standing next to me–within reason, goodyear. And so I present to you this year’s final menu, a mulligan stew of left-over thoughts and teasers straight from the mental ice box of my favorite mother’s favorite son: (okay, it’s another year end list.)

1.  Don’t buy any Christmas jewely advertised on TV regardless of how much the actress acts like she’d love to own a quarter carat, diamond pendant necklace from Zales.

2. Whilst everybody in my life welcomes a thoughtful gift and even my faithful dog enjoys human praise, it’s pretty obvious from the looks on their faces that they’d all rather have the cash.

3. The best answering machine message I heard all year was: …”If this is a courtesy call, leave a message and I’ll get back to you at my earliest convenience;… If this is a distress call, keep the message short and if I’m not in a worse place than you, I’ll try and help;… If this is a booty call, stay on the line and someone will assist you shortly.” (okay, I made it up and my wife wouldn’t let me put it on our machine.)

4. I’m at a point in my life where I’m actually a little disappointed if I don’t get socks for Christmas.

5. I’ve concluded that there’s no sense in trying to get back down to my fighting weight since nothing good ever came out of any fight I’ve ever been in, anyway.

6. Don’t write a post about a one-armed girl and expect to come away unscathed or get involved in a comment trading war unless you too, are prepared to quit  the forum and flee before the lions need fed again. Remember, the lions always need fed.

7. The best dessert I snuck this year while on my 52 week (alright, perennial) yo-yo (Ho Ho) diet was a Fried Twinkie Tiramisu–worthy of the capitalization, I assure you.

8. Take the extended service warranty on anything electronic that has to do with your livlihood and can accidently be dropped in a toilet.

9. Don’t end up at a gambling table with anyone who has a city or a geographic region for a first name, i.e. New York Nick, Long Island Louie, et al…

10. If a dog looks into a mirror…does God look back?

That’s it. I’m done. The chairs are upside down on this tabletop until next year. Empty the ashtrays and call the cabs. Peace, or at the very least…may we all get some sleep and wake up slightly better people.