There’s always something to howl about.

Flipping Homes: A Closer Look

First of all let me say that I distinguish between fraud and flipping. When professionals collude to trick sellers into taking a low price, then flip the home for a profit in a short time, this is not what I’m talking about, and it shouldn’t cloud the issue of flipping. Why do we always take the worst practices and make that the norm?

Hell, let’s change the name to something that better represents what I consider a legitimate real estate practice — let’s call it BuyRebuild&Sell (BRS) — it sounds like Briz, so let’s call it Brizzing, in order to give it dignity and a cool name.

So there is this dog of a house uglying up the neighborhood and no one wants to buy it. I come along and look at the home — yet I’m looking at it in a different way — I look at its soul. The poor darling is sitting there being made fun of, people are even cursing it — That damn ugly house! It’s killing values! Some even secretly wish it would burn down.

Now, I’m a compassionate person, and I’ve always rooted for the underdog and tried to protect those who were bullied and ridiculed for their appearance. And I’m a businessman. Yep, I’m a crude businessman who likes to make a profit.

I say to myself, this poor house needs brizzing. I’m a good brizzer — I’ve brizzed over a dozen houses now. It’s funny how some people look at brizzing — they like the fact the house has been brizzed but they hate the profit you make off brizzing. “I know what you paid for that dog of a house!” — “You are charging what? You only paid $60,000 for it!”

Yes, but I brizzed it, you dope! I took a chance on this poor ugly house when no one else would. I didn’t sit back and make fun of it and curse it, I brizzed it! I could have lost my butt on this, but I believed in this house — I saw its soul! And, I’m a businessman. I’m a crude businessman who likes to make a profit. So, shut up and admire my work of art.

I’ve even helped the community. Yes, I’ve increased the values in the neighborhood — how about that? Now people ride by the house and whistle – they yell out “Yo, little house, you’ve got junk in your trunk!” And the little house sits there all pretty and styling. Now tell me what’s wrong with that? I think brizzing is a good practice, if you’ve got the nerves for it. Just having nerve is worth a buck or two.

So quit worrying about what I paid for it, no one else would buy it, and I didn’t hold no gun to nobody’s head (that’s how us brizzers talk) – just be grateful that someone saw the beauty in ugliness and brought it to life. Brizzing is cool, y’all.