In the discussions over how much a real estate agent gets paid, there is one aspect often left out: stress. There is a lot of stress being a real estate agent. It is probably the least definable aspect of a deal, yet I believe it justifies a large percentage of what an agent earns. The problem for me is this: stress is hugely unhealthy. My passion is health; lowering my stress level and the stress level of the agents I do mortgages for is of paramount interest to me and I am always on the lookout for new ways to do so.
The following is an excerpt from a book about a young man on a journey and the guide he meets along the way. It reveals an interesting way of dealing with stress.
… I had been short-tempered and I was unhappy. “I’m under a lot of stress” I offered by way of excuse, “and this trip isn’t reducing it any!” The Guide turned and asked me if I knew the four C’s of diamonds. A little confused, I nodded yes and began to recite “cut, color…” “Understand” he interrupted with an impatient wave of his left hand, “people are twice as brilliant as any diamond and require half as many C’s to be happy.” He sat down across from me with a sigh and rested his hands in his lap. He reminded me of Sister Christine, my fourth grade teacher, who often gave the exhausted impression of someone sharing something obvious to her, yet so obviously new to me. “You have only these: Congruence and Continuity. Congruence is how well your inner vision of yourself matches the outer world you witness every day. Continuity is when your thoughts and your actions and your interactions align. Which is just another way of saying ‘Keep your word’ especially to yourself.”
The story continues on a bit about something called The Mirror Effect which, while interesting, would require too much space to cover in this post.
“Your unhappiness is a product of your stress and stays with you because you do not recognize the power of the two C’s.” He paused and raised his eyebrows as if to gauge my understanding. I nodded my head more confidently than I felt and he continued. “Stress indicates your two worlds are not Congruent. You relieve stress by improving your Consistency. Either look inward and get more honest with yourself – or look outward and ACT upon the incongruity.”
I read this and thought it applied wonderfully to the stress of real estate. Agents often have an inner vision of themselves marketing every day. Or they envision a smooth transaction with a compliant client and a lender that communicates on a regular basis. When these events do not happen, there is no congruence and that causes stress. The solution is to create consistency. For instance, you can find a lender that does communicate and reduces your stress. Or you can set aside one hour per day for marketing and honor that time as sacred. This is ACTing on the incongruity. Or, you can look inward and become more honest with yourself. Acknowledge that you are not the type of person who will market every day and redefine your idea of success. Or accept the nature of your clients and discard the vision of a smooth transaction.
An honest vision of yourself for Continuity or action taken to effect Congruence. Either way, the two C’s are a powerful tool.
Vance Shutes says:
Sean,
Earl Nightengale said it best – the Strangest Secret. “You become what you think about.” Your Realtor clients are fortunate to have a lender like you, working to minimize stress for both the buyer and the Realtor. Thanks for an excellent article.
September 13, 2008 — 7:35 am
JTB Summit NJ says:
I know what you mean, and some of that stress possibly could be reduced if it were not for family pressures for success that mount, while trying to work though issues beyond your control. I personally try to organize things in such a way that everything that I have control over is as stress free as possible. After all, being a real estate agent (REALTOR) there is much less that I control than your average working person who has a paycheck coming every 2 weeks.
September 13, 2008 — 8:30 am
Sue says:
>>Earl Nightengale said it best – the Strangest Secret. “You become what you think about.”
Yes, I believe this too…you are what you think. It reminds me of the DVD that I watched recently “The Secret”. Your approach to life and its challenges makes all the difference.
Selling real estate is a tough job, no doubt about it. I try to surround myself with attorneys and lenders that I trust and have complete faith in. This makes it much easier. Also, I know that my clients are well taken care of and even after the most difficult transactions they leave the closing table happy with the players.
September 13, 2008 — 8:03 pm