There’s always something to howl about

If You Will Not Assist Us With the Shrubbery, We Will Be Forced To Say “MORTGAGE!!”

Oh, what sad times are these when loan originators can say such words as “Free” and “Mortgage” at will to their contact database?!?!

For if thou doest seek thine Holy Grail, or at least a decent shrubber, ye shalt best consult thy Book of Armaments here before lobbing thine Holy Hand Grenade of Drip Email upon thy database.

In Addition to Nee, Pang and Nuuuwon, Ye Shalt Also Avoid:

Okay, enough of the silly talk.  I’ve got actual work to do.

1)  Free + ________: Permission Marketing proponents love giving free stuff away.  Make it a point to avoid this evil word your email subject lines.

2)  Mortgage: Perhaps the evilest word of them all!  How do you avoid this one if you’re a loan originator?  I guess you could substitute nuuuwon.  Or you can just make it a habit to check your subject lines for keyword spam infractions before sending.  Either will do.

3)  Low Interest Rates: Not that we have a problem with that right now.  So I’m announcing a temporary hunger strike until rates drop back below 5%.  Or at least until dinner.

carrot-top-steroids1Hey, you’ve been a great audience.  Now I’ll turn the stage over to not a good friend of mine who definitely has not been doing any steroids or performance enhancing drugs.  His jokes sucked before he looked like this too.

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    5 Comments so far

    1. Don Reedy June 10th, 2009 6:15 pm


      I get it.

    2. Mark Madsen June 11th, 2009 10:36 am

      It is even hard for the shrubber in these economic times.

    3. [...] Posted an item Joe Spake: | If You Will Not Assist Us With the Shrubbery, We Will Be Forced To S… [...]

    4. Scott June 15th, 2009 11:01 am

      That picture of the red-headed meathead which I will not give him the pleasure of saying his stupid name, almost made me puke…That said, inflation is killing us and rates will go up more and more. It’s a double edged sword! I’ll go on hunger strike with you also.

    5. [...] | If You Will Not Assist Us With the Shrubbery, We Will Be Forced To Say “MORTGAGE!!”… June [...]