There’s always something to howl about.

I’m Drinking More Tea

Late this Spring, I came to the realization that my life wasn’t in enough upheaval, so I decided to give up everything and move back home to Texas to be closer to my family and aging parents.  My trip to visit my parents while my dad recovered from surgery in April made a much larger impact on me than I realized.

Family matters.  Life is short.  Carpe Diem.

… and let’s face it, my business was in the toilet and I’ve been toying with starting my own Web 2.0 endeavor so what the hell.  Texas here I come.

It’s been more than 2 months and I am working on my business plan.   I have a  lot more free time, so I am reading a lot.  I am enjoying seeing my folks, my brothers and sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews, but surprisingly, I’m having difficulty reconnecting to my home town.

I finally started reading The Fountainhead and I am looking forward to reading Dan Brown’s new book, but one book in particular that I just finished has really made me think about the process of really starting over – starting over is tough.

The book Three Cups of Tea has profoundly impacted my process of starting over and reconnecting.  It’s about the power of relationships – deep, meaningful relationships.  Relationships that truly transcend our differences and forge  bonds because of our shared experiences and common purpose.  If you haven’t read the book, needless to say, I highly recommend it because I believe it has remarkable relevance to how we value and maintain relationships in our business and personal lives.

In the book, the significance of sharing tea with a person is a deeply routed cultural experience with profound meaning.  The more one shares tea, the stronger the bond.  Connecting and reconnecting with people is all about building, nurturing and maintaining relationships.   Building a relationships begins with a common purpose or shared experience, but to maintain it and for it to become valuable, it requires nurturing.  How much time do we really, truly devote to the nuturing of our own relationships?  Not just our business relationships, but our personal ones as well.

What relationships warrant the sharing of more tea?

At dinner one night recently with my folks, we got into a philosophical discussion about spirituality and relationships.  I add these disclaimers:

1. No, we were not drinking tea

2. No, there was “nothing” in what we were drinking

My mom shared a story about fate, spirituality and how it impacts relationships.  Heavy, I know.  She recounted the time when my parents were in New Mexico a few summers ago walking a trail near Taos.  As they headed up the hill, another couple about their age were walking down.  Immediately, my dad notices that the man was wearing a Bears cap.

Both my parents were born and grew up on the south side of Chicago.  My father is a dyed in the wool, navy and orange Bears fan, regardless of the fact that he nor my mom have lived in Chicago in almost 40 years.  He could not easily walk past someone wearing a Bears’ hat and not acknowledge the man’s intelligence nor his good taste in professional football team attire.

They find out that in fact they grew up in relatively close proximity to each other – talked about their parishes and life in Chicago.  But what made this meeting more than just a casual talk was the fact that the man’s uncle was an employee of my mom’s father’s stoneyard.  My grandfather owned a stone company – still in existance today – on the south side of the city.  My mom remembered his uncle and remembers seeing him at the office as a child.

During our dinner conversation, my mom said that the man’s uncle was an alcoholic – had a tough time at work and in life – and was a heavy burden to my grandfather, but my grandfather did everything he could to take of him.

At the time the man shared his uncle’s name on the rocky train in Taos, my mom said she was overwhelmed by the presence of someone who was not there – her dad.  I believe that relationships not only transcend our differences, the ones that really count, take root in our soul.

This meeting – and albeit brief relationship with this couple, struck up because of a less than average football team – was deeply meaningful.

How many opportunities have we missed to truly connect with others?