The Glass Ceiling
I remember the moment I decided to stop wearing a suit and tie in public—forever. It was a couple days before Christmas and I dropped by the K-Mart to pick up a punch bowl for the office party. I was looming in Housewares when an elderly woman approached me with a fistful of coupons. Alvin and the Chipmunks were singing that insidious song through the sound system.
“I want to file a complaint.” She said.
“I don’t work here.” Me.
“You’re not the manager?” She asked, insistent.
“No. I’m not the manager.” I replied, perhaps a little snippy.
She glared up at me like…well…like I was lying. More than anything, I hate being implicated in an aspersion when I’m innocent. I’d rather receive three french hens every day for a year from someone I don’t truly love than be deemed a liar (unless of course, I actually am, in which case, I will simply deny until totally boxed in).
“This is an Italian suit, lady. You need to find someone with a name tag,” I continued, perhaps a little prideful.
“That lady over there said to ask you. That you were a manager.” She pressed.
We turned our attention to a squat woman in a burka, a rare sight in Richmond, Virginia in those days.
“That lady over there doesn’t speak English.” Me, perhaps a little too loud.
“I speak better English than you,” the lady yelled back across the aisle. “I speak five languages. How many you speak?”
Oh yeah. One of those days. A blue light siren began twirling above my head and something inaudible was announced over the speakers, interrupting the chipmunk falsetto drone. I froze as a wave of shoppers began scurrying in our direction; something about cutlery.
“You don’t have this Foot Soaker in stock.” The elderly lady shoved a coupon under my nose as the herd surrounded us.
“I know I don’t, ma’am…Because…. I. Don’t. Work. Here.” Me.
“She deserves a rain check,” Burka lady. “It’s false advertising if you don’t. Bait and switch.”
“Yes. Bait and switch,” Elderly lady.
“Bait and Switch!” Somebody yelled from the mob. “Bait and Switch….”
About that time an employee approached me and ask Read more