There’s always something to howl about.

Month: July 2010 (page 3 of 3)

Proud Papa

roobs.jpg

I could not be more proud.   Last night, at the dinner table, my (just) 2 year old daughter, Ruby…of her own volition…made an unsolicited offer to trade with me.

She wanted some of my coke, “a sip” and I am not generally big on either drinking Coke or giving it to my kids, I couldn’t resist when she offered me some of her chips.   After declining to give her a sip, she said, “You can have my chips.”

Now, the truth was that the chips were soggy, they had the dregs of her burrito on them, and they only had value because her brother wanted to eat them.

But, I had to complete the exchange and so she got to taste coke for either the first or second time.

Here’s to a long life of equally successful trades.

Reasons to be cheerful, Part 3.1.2: Redemption is egoism in action, so do the world a favor and catch your self doing something right.

I hope I don’t seem to be a scold.

It suits my ends to poke around in the trash can inside your brain, but I’m not doing it to be mean — nor to induce you to feel bad about yourself. I know a whole lot about the interior mental processes that motivate the pursuit of values and disvalues — and about the subsequent and secondary consequences of those mental processes — but it’s not as if I can actually read your mind.

So how do I know so much about how your mind works? I don’t, not by any means except inference. What I know about is how my mind works. We are alike as things — we are ontological equals — so I know that your mind works the same way mine does — no less than and for the same reasons that your heart works the same way mine does. Moreover, I can look you in the eye and tell you the truth of your life in excruciating detail, working from nothing other than past experience with myself and other people. Our differences make us unique and beautiful, but our similarities make us comprehensible to each other.

So without intending to scold you, I need to say something to you in the gentlest way I can:

You’re getting everything wrong!!

Wrong, wrong, wrong. All the time, for all your life. Everyone, everywhere, for all of human history. Wrong, wrong, wrong — always and everywhere wrong — with wrong heaped upon wrong in twisted, corrupt dogmas of wrongness.

Do you want proof?

It could be you’re all hunched up in resentment at being called wrong. Or maybe you’re folded in on yourself in guilt, revisiting all of your past perceived sins. But here’s how I know that you’re wrong, and that you’ve been wrong about nearly everything, for almost all of your life:

Because being wrong doesn’t matter. Being right is the only thing that matters.

We all tell lies, the worst of them to ourselves. We all shirk our responsibilities, crafting sullen silent soliloquies to justify our laziness. We all hurt other people, and we are all Read more

Reasons to be cheerful, Part 3.2: Yuppie love: The egoist’s guide to mastering the art of frolicking naked with the one you love.

Here’s an eye-opening item from the news feeds: Up to four out of five women are faking orgasms, at least some of the time. Last weekend, I was incredulous at Camille Paglia’s lamentations about sexlessness in the middle class, but, even though I’ve read — and doubted — all of the claims about anorgasmic women, still, I have never been prepared to lend any of this any credence.

And, yes, I’m talking about adult subject matter. If you’re still a giggling pre-teen, you might giggle off elsewhere. I intend to approach this as philosophy, but, if anything, that will just bring out more self-induced juvenility. The actual reason that normal adult Americans have bad sex is because they refuse — very probably in every realm of their lives — to take joy seriously. But we can’t even get that far without a commitment on your part to stop blushing and start thinking. If you won’t do this, what I plan to do here will be a waste of your time.

And must I also defend this as real estate? If you want to learn every new vendorslut trick for not making money while you betray your own soul, get thee to Agent Shortbus or any one of a hundred other sites. If you want to learn how to be a whole soul, to be the highest and best person you can be — at work, at home and in the privacy of the bedroom — let’s talk. But the only subject that matters to me is being alive as a self-conscious human being — and being good at it — and this post is 100% on-topic for that theme.

Are we down to nothing but adults who are prepared to be serious about human joy? Let’s start with a very basic premise: Normal, healthy adult human beings who love each other romantically should have great sex together virtually all of the time. Disabled? That could be a problem. Disabled in the mission-critical hardware? A bigger problem, but not an insuperable one. Stressed? Distracted? Drunk? Your timing is bad. Not in love? You’re screwed — Read more

PACE Solar Program Slows Chances of Economic Recovery

Residential real estate finance is ill and getting worse.  I cautioned that the elixir that got us into this mess should be removed for a robust private market solution but the mix makers upped the dosage.  It’s gonna make us even more sick.

Last year, I saw an opportunity to finance energy efficient improvements, specifically solar panels.  My motives weren’t a political demonstration but rooted in financial analysis.  Often, an investment in a solar panels installation returns as much as 15% annually through cost savings.  Prescient building contractors reworked business plans to meet the expected demand. The global warming religion heightened awareness to self-produced energy systems and California consumers want in.  The challenge is that little if any home improvement capital exists in the mortgage market; that spelled opportunity for me.

I taught some of these contractors how to structure, price, and make junior loans, to finance their work.  Armed with my database of investors, I started a small secondary market for these “solar loans”.  The contractor would make a loan, hire me to sell that loan to an investor, and pay me a  fee for arranging that sale from the proceeds.  The loan was cross-collateralized by the subject property and an assignation of tax credits to the lender. The loans averaged $25,000 and I intended to build up a servicing portfolio, earning a fee to collect payments and remit them to the investors.

What I didn’t realize was that I had a competitor, a competitor that had a lot more money and influence than I did.  This competitor is able rewrite laws to its advantage, so that it had a first lien position, which is assumable by a purchasing homeowner.  My loans were junior liens with a due-on-sale clause.  That competitor is the PACE program, armed with $150 million of Federal money and the borrowing power of states and municipalities.

That’s a formidable foe for a small-town mortgage broker and his retired golf-buddy investors.  Needless to say, I abandoned the idea last month.  Today, there’s hope for my little venture.  The PACE program forgot that the existing secondary mortgage market doesn’t take kindly to Read more

Reasons to be cheerful, Part 2.9.5: Carrying a concealed firearm is the first step to reclaiming responsibility for your own self-defense.

Arizona State Senate Bill 1070 — the “Welcome to the Hotel California” legislation that has drawn so much attention nation-wide — will take effect on July 29th, 2010. Two other bills that will become law that day are more interesting to me, if not to TV-camera-mugging know-nothings in other states.

First, it will be lawful in Arizona for citizens to carry a concealed weapon without applying for a state permit. Arizona has always been an open-carry state, and, until now, a concealed carry permit required nothing more than a small fee plus 16 hours of instruction. With or without the legal requirement, the instruction is not a bad idea. But what will change on July 29th is the attitude of bad guys. Unlike thugs in, say, Chicago, criminals in Phoenix know there is a high degree of likelihood that ordinary people will be armed. As Robert A. Heinlein said, “An armed society is a polite society.”

Second, firearms manufactured and sold within the state of Arizona will not be subject to the Federal Brady Law’s national firearms database. It’s not a big deal right now, but it is plausible that there will come a time that the Feds — or their surlier successors — might try to confiscate every gun they know about. Having weapons Johnny G-Man knows nothing about might turn out to be an important advantage, if the shit hits the fan.

Look at this:

Isn’t that a sweet little pistol? It’s a Ruger LCP, specifically designed for concealed carry. It’s a .380, six rounds in the grip, one in the chamber, so it’s strictly a self-defense weapon. But it’s just a little bit larger in all dimensions than a pack of index cards, so it is very easy to conceal on your person. You can get a belt-mounted holster for it that looks like a camera case.

That’s a Realtor’s gun, a salesperson’s gun, a weapon for people who go to a lot of places they’ve never been before and don’t know what to expect. Less than ten ounces, and no one knows you have it until it turns out to be your Read more

On Independence Day 2010, look around you and fill your heart: O’ What a Beautiful Morning!

There are songs that better describe America and patriotism, I suppose, but I can’t think of too many other songs that mean independence to me more than this song. I’m biased, of course, living as I do in the Great Midwest. Some people love the ocean or the mountains. They look out at miles of water or towering peaks and feel something. I’m not one of those people. I confess I love acres and acres of plowed or planted fields standing as a proud testament to someone’s hard work and tenacity. When “the corn is as high as an elephant’s eye”, and “the cattle are standing like statues”, I find this magnificent, thrilling even. The earth itself is abundant and I see that most in evidence on farmland. On a quieter level though, sitting on my modest suburban patio on a sultry summer Ohio evening, I know that “the sounds of the earth are like music” because I hear that particular song in the thick, humid air alive with insects and birds, the crickets and toads operatically calling for a mate, or the delicious evening thunderstorms that bellow across the sky, and I’m here to tell you that this music is a love song. “O’ What a Beautiful Morning” is an American love song and I am enthralled with the ideas represented: being in love with a another person, in love with life, in love with the possibilities for independence that present themselves to you every single morning.

I leave a lot of musicals here, I know. I’ll not apologize. My heart often sings out and I’m compelled to share those songs, and our gracious host is obliging enough to humor me. Oklahoma though, is my favorite Broadway musical because it is so very American. Not only the cowboys and the ranchers, or the aw-shucks Americana. Oklahoma is wonderful because it freely shares that American idea of independence: The idea that simple people can own land and work and produce from that land, independent of the government. This is America, perhaps the one American thing I love most of all. This Read more

Happy 4th of July Weekend.

I wanted to take a brief moment to extend a Happy 4th of July greeting to all in the BH community.  I was born and raised in El Salvador in the midst of an infamous civil war (infamous for its use of children as pawns in the war machine), migrating to the US in my teen years and becoming a citizen while serving in armed forces.  I have had the opportunity to travel the world for work and leisure and I can wholeheartedly say that there is no other country I’d rather call home than the good ol’ US of A.  Regardless of what cynicism is thrown out there about American greed, blah blah blah, I believe and embrace the principles and values on which our nation founded.  Have a Happy Independence weekend.

american flag

Declaration of Independence

Declaration of Independence

[Adopted in Congress 4 July 1776]


The Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be Read more

The Magic Words – “What You’re Sayin’ Is Makin’ a Lotta Sense”

Regardless of how someone may have found you, one day you get an email or a phone call from them. Assuming they’re not a referral, you’ve already developed a modicum of credibility in their eyes — why else would they be talkin’ with ya? So the first phone conversation begins with them introducing themselves and the reason for the contact. They’re serious campers, but haven’t decided which pro, if any, they’d like to use.

How does that first chat usually work out for ya?

This was the question with which I was pounded daily as a newbie, and one I often ask of those I occasionally mentor.

Those conversations, in my experience, are what makes or breaks real estate agents/brokers. If that first conversation doesn’t gain traction with the potential client, it’s highly unlikely a second chance will present itself. So, what approach do you take? Are you Zig Ziggler using 1,001 closing questions? You realize cars don’t have carburetors any more, right? (And the first 20-something who asks what a carburetor is gets booted.) 🙂

I has a suggestion — try makin’ some sense.

How are you comin’ across to potential clients — like every other ‘TopProducer’ they’ve been bored by the last 10 days? Folks come to pros for one main reason among many — they want you to have forgotten more than they know about the subject at hand. Most of what passes for intelligence from the typical agent in these ‘dialogues’ is exactly what Charlie Brown heard when his teacher was talkin’ — blah blah blahdy blah — BS BS BS.

It’s not about us. Everyone says that, but from where I sit, and what new clients actually tell me, is that the agents with whom they’ve spoken simply haven’t walked that talk.

It’s about the hands-on difference we can make when the Firestones hit the pavement. Most of the time, early in my career, I was embarrassing myself more than I can possibly imagine, and I thank the Lord I was blissfully unaware. “We’re the best” “We sell SO many homes…” “Our ad budget is ginormous” And Read more

Reasons to be cheerful, Part 3.1: The song of the self.

This is a dumb thing to say, but at the same time, I think it’s the essence of everything, the one thing that most needs to be said:

I love life. I love living. I love being alive as a human being — a genetic homo sapiens within whom has been cultivated a self — and I love, love, love being that self with a deep and abiding adoration. I don’t want to be anyone but me, but I want to be me to the utmost, to the evermost — without shame, without hiding or disguising myself in any way and without one word of apology to anyone, ever.

This is fact, obvious and dumb to say but utterly necessary to understand: We are each of us all alone inside the mind, and the self of atoms, actions and events that others see is the physical expression of the self of the imagination that each one of us sees only of his own self and only alone, within that perfect solitude of the mind.

Just that much is breathtakingly beautiful, if you take the time to think about it: A reflexively recollecting mental process, by iteratively expressing itself — in the observable world, of course, but first and most and almost continuously in purely introspective activity — essentially becomes itself and then, over time, progressively recreates itself — learning, changing, growing — over and over again. The self is its own self-abstracted abstraction, and your relationship with your own unique self is by far the most important relationship in your life.

The self is the song of itself, and each one of us is his own song, his own soul, unique and incomparable and fundamentally inexpressible to others. Without human upbringing, we are bad imitations of animals, at best. But with it, by age five each one of us is his own song, his own soul, his own ego, his own “I am.” Are we but ghosts, lost and horrified in a lurching, chaotic machine? Are we mindless fleshy worms squirming without purpose across the fertile fields of time? Or is each one of us Read more

$5 Real Estate Marketing At Fiverr.Com!

I’m giddy. Really giddy.

The other day a friend told me about Fiverr.Com.

The first thing I noticed on the site was that some dude would be willing to write my URL on his arm and sport it for a week…. for only $5.

So, I gave it a shot, and Here’s the result…

Real Estate Leads

Then, I noticed someone would actually write a jingle for my little company… for only $5. I wasn’t expecting much, but had to give it a try of course.

Here’s the little jingle that has me trip tripping right now:

LINK TO THE JINGLE I JUST PAID $5 FOR. [compliments of this guy.]

and I’ve got a Twitter background on the way for the same price…. $5!

Where Are You Going With This?

Yep, that’s the $5 question of the moment… where are you going to go with this? I can’t wait to see other ways that the Bloodhounds around here to promote (or get cheap labor for) their ventures using this awesome resource.

But in the meantime…the ability to find quick inspiration for fun goofy marketing ploys aside, here’s the biggest way that I can think of for Real Estate heads to benefit from Fiverr.Com on the quick:

Say you invest $20, and get 4 jobs done via Fiverr.Com.

Then say you’re happy with a few of the results… Could you see hiring the provider to do more stuff for you on an ongoing per-task basis within your practice. Not assuming it’ll always be $5, but at least you’ll have the opportunity to interview a few different folks with a few different skill sets quickly…re-utilizing the services you like, as you need them. Seems a much better alternative to hiring a full or part time assistant who you’ll have to train and manage?

[Please do send me a copy of your jingle once you have it made 🙂 ]

And here’s mine again… something about the douche in me can’t help but post this link everywhere I can right now 🙂 –> LINK TO THE JINGLE I JUST PAID $5 FOR.