There’s always something to howl about.

Author: Chris Johnson (page 2 of 6)

Instigator, anthill kicker.

Fire Proofing Vs. Putting Out Fires

I’m an addict.   I’m addicted to drama. To feeling necessary, to the hustle, and to the grind.  I have heard 3 bloodhounds separately say “putting out fires,” recently.

And to that I say: why?  And to myself I say, why.

Here’s the thing: even though we’re living through a paperwork-fight-to the death with the Government, we still have quite predictable businesses that lend themselves to systemization.  I broke out of the pack as a mortgage lender when I tried to get every single file “clear to close” on the first pass.  It was more work up front, but in 2007 (after the ‘crisis’s’  first act) I had a great year.  Doubled my 06 volume.

Why?  Because if an underwriter ever “stipped” me, I’d add meeting that stip to my checklist and solve the problem.  I required title companies to send a HUD-1 on DAY-1, and if they were picked a fight, it was easy to get them to take the 10 minutes to estimate taxes, etc.

This process was the only way I survived, and the only way the carnage from my tax stuff wasn’t worse than it was.

Which is to say this: we can become anticipatory in our businesses.  We can learn how to figure out what customers need, and how to serve them.

But, we have to give up our “superman” ethos.  Most house problems were caused by the Realtor/Lender/Whomever having a terrible process.  Most of them were caused by someone acting clueless.  “We need a termite inspection?  Really, man, the underwriter pulled THAT out of nowhere.”

We have more power than we realize.  We can systematize a transaction so it goes like clockwork.  So it’s “artisan” quality, in lieu of “call center” quality.   When we pursue operational excellence, then what happens?

Our clients notice a difference.

We notice a difference and are more proud of our work.

There are no “fires” to put out.

So, in lieu of going after the drama we manufacture, we can make more drama by throwing ourselves at Jeff Brown Challenges, or Greg Seinfeld Chains.

“What do you learn” with every file.

“What caused a delay” with every file.

“What gave the customer pause” Read more

Facebook: The Ultimate CRM

Since my last post and a couple of comments happened, I’ll scribble my basic lead gen/followup methodology down.  This changes all the time, and it’s the part of what I do that’s grinding/belly to belly/phone banging based.  That part gets me 35-45% of my business.  Another 35-45% comes from referrals/social media.  Roughly 10% is “pure” PPC/internet marketing stuff.

There are fuzzy lines everywhere–how do you categorize someone that was referred in by Greg Swann?  What of the person that opted in 16 months ago to a different product?  Anyway.

The excuse to call: I am resuming my webinars that teach my bareknuckle brand of internet marketing/salesmanship.   I invite people to these, for free. They are low key, soft selling events that have what I know.  At the end, I simply offer to “do it for your business for X.” These have done well for me in the past, and will do well for me again.  Twice a month is about as much as I can handle, and still be “on.”  I generally invite people here, or offer up one of my other contacts as a way to connect. “I have 1500 people on my fb….feel free to ask for an introduction to anyone.”

GenuineChris Axiom:  My efficiency at cold calling literally doubled when I stopped allowing anyone to try and buy on the first call. “Oh, you’re a lead? Great, gotta go, call ya later.”  “Almost leads” talk your ear off on the initial call, but they never buy.    People that buy do so quickly.

The Next Part of The Equation- Your Goal: Your goal is not to convince a singular person to do ANYTHING on the first call.  I don’t set appointments.  I don’t troubleshoot.  I only wish to identify need.  If they have a need for us, THEY WILL SAY SO.  “Do you have anything broken about your $thing_you_sell?”   You’re working the list. “Hey, we’ll see if I can help–mind if I call you back this afternoon?”  Why are you doing this?

Because you want to work your list. Getting through your list is where the value is. Read more

Tag Teaming Off Of Jeff Brown: Rescue Time

Right now, there’s no real way to do business with me online.  This is not an accident–and I’ll get to the Jeff Brown section of the equation momentarily.  I’m redoing everything. We’ve not been marketing lately, because we’ve got to raise the standards of everything.

This won’t be interminable, we’ll be done with this at some point real soon.  Like this week.   I’ll be up on Tuesday or Wednesday (read Thursday or Friday) and this will certainly be the last ‘public iteration,’ that I ever go through.  I’ve got to end the “stay up all night and then roll the site back to how it was” school of doing things for myself.

A detail to peep at before it gets built into the shopping cart: what happens after people buy. This is one of many things that we’re rolling out, and it simply takes time. Making a sales channel that is tight, that makes and keeps promises and that is reasonably indifferent to the volume it handles.   I’m working back to front- from the customer experience in the first minute, day, 3 days 5 days.

Here’s the “thank you” page that most see the moment their credit card is processed.

http://flatratebiz.com/thank-you

There are a series of emails that go out in the first few days, and my illustrious customer service turk calls people within 2 business hours to restate the same stuff and welcome them to our team.  While I was waiting to get this done, I tore out my old shopping cart.  I am not sorry I did this because the project is moving faster.

Now: there is no way to do business with me but sales are not down.  Projects are getting done and delegated, my books are more or less kept (the bane of a small business for many reasons).   Revenue is coming in at the same clip it had been before.

Why?  Because I know what the hell I’m doing all the time.

As part of a fun & semiprivate project, a few of us wanted to get good at what we do for a living . I wanted to Read more

We’re all Vendors, Every one

It should come as no surprise that the average “good customer,” doesn’t spend a lot of time (or wish to learn) anything about the Real Estate Industry.  Even when it serves them–even if they should know.   The average “good customer,” would prefer that their real estate was “handled,” for them, that they could swallow a house selling pill and the house would get itself sold, with maximum convenience and minimum hassle.

They don’t (generally speaking) want to know anything about how you get paid, why a Divorced Real Estate Commission is better, or how many homes that you’ve sold.  They don’t give a rat’s rear about who owns what shortcodes, about your social media marketing, or anything else save the HUD-1 at the end of the month(s) it takes to sell.  Because of the time spent (and also because the NAR seems to benefit from marketing the anxiety inherent in the real estate transactions) Realtors delude themselves to think that their clients want new friends.  Realtors have made a world where “who you know” and “rapport” are more important than “what you know” and “fiduciary obedience.”

Realtors (and we vendors) delude when we think client-o-mers want new BFFs. Clients like congeniality, they need fiduciary obedience.  But they have families, lifelong friends and unless it’s happenstance, we ain’t amongst them.  Sure, our businesses require have frequent interactions when we are engaged, but we’re not friends with people because they needed a website (or a mortgage, or a house).  We are their servants, dutybound (and moneybound) to do the work that we say we are to do.

The charlatan or confidence man becomes a friend as a way to again divorce accountability from the results–either consciously or unconsciously.  If we become friends, then we get the “friendly” treatment should the webiste not rank or the home not sell for the price we promised.

If our customers could simply eat a pill and have everything “get handled” they would.  And many of them did, from 2000-2006, with the maniacal mortgage funding process.    When you leave your financial decisions to those folks that benefit from churn, well, then, Read more

The End Product of Appeasing the Collective: Chris Pearson, GPL and Matt Mullenweg

This post contains a Bawld Guy axiom, some tech wank, and more.

For those people that do what I do (what is it that I do–if anything?  I often wonder), there was kind of a big debate this past month.  It involved WordPress–open source GPL software–Thesis, formerly proprietary software that capitulated to no avail.  Matt Mullenweg, an unstable genius that seems hell bent on harming his community (more on that in a moment), Chris Pearson, a narcissistic genius that seems hell bent on blowing a hole in his leg because you can’t tell him what to do.

The gist: the Thesis theme (a theme that I deliver something like 60% of my sites in) was not GPL.  Despite the fact the only lawyers that claimed that it needed to be worked for a free software foundation, AutoMATTic was pursuing them to become GPL.  Ma.tt started calling Chris out on Twitter, not suing, no, just acting like a goon.  There was a delightful Mixergy where Chris Pearson and @@photomatt fought amongst themselves.

I love me some good wank as much as the next guy, so I had to chime in.   I didn’t add much new–the whole situation was utterly ugly all around and very unfortunate, but some of the WP types dropped in to comment (and I love posterous for its simplicity.  But I digress.)

Our dear friend WP Tutorial god Ben Cook summarizes it better than I do for those of us  that love a nerd war.

The Point, If I have One: Don’t Comply With The Hive, They Never Stop.

So after a lot of wrangling–and even a Mashable write up, Copyblogger Brian Clark (who dissolved his partnership shortly after this incident) got Pearson to stop it already and adopt GPL–and probably that should have been done to begin  with for practical reasons.  Note: I hate when people try and force my hand.  Huzzah for Harmony, and Ma.tt was initially thrilled.

But not so fast, last week (meant to post this a while ago, left Macbook in Seattle)  opened another salvo against a compliant opponent, and like France in WWI, Matt is  demanding reparations.   This Read more

Proud Papa

roobs.jpg

I could not be more proud.   Last night, at the dinner table, my (just) 2 year old daughter, Ruby…of her own volition…made an unsolicited offer to trade with me.

She wanted some of my coke, “a sip” and I am not generally big on either drinking Coke or giving it to my kids, I couldn’t resist when she offered me some of her chips.   After declining to give her a sip, she said, “You can have my chips.”

Now, the truth was that the chips were soggy, they had the dregs of her burrito on them, and they only had value because her brother wanted to eat them.

But, I had to complete the exchange and so she got to taste coke for either the first or second time.

Here’s to a long life of equally successful trades.

This Year

Is half over.

How much money have you made?

How many people have you helped?

Do you plan to do things exactly the same way that produced the results of the first 6 months?

Or do you need to change?  If you need to change, what will you do differently?

How much will it cost you?

What will be different that makes July-Dec produce different results from Jan-June?

What excuses might you be inclined to make?

Are you dead/complacent?

Reasons To Be Cheerful

view from my back yard.jpg

For loads of reasons, I moved my family from what Greg once called the “tiny town of Westerville, OH,” to Gresham Oregon, a suburb of Portland.  I move into my rental house in a few days.  picture is what I see in my backyard.

My front yard is pine trees, and past that is a pristine view of Mount Hood. I crossed the plain in my minivan with my wife and kids, over 3 days–followed by my first vacation in years, a week in Manzanita Beach. We’ll do a 6 month stay in Gresham, and then figure out if Vancouver, WA is the mecca of tax avoidance that people say it is.

I have been delivered.

Now, I go back to work feverishly on the Sabbath, working like a dog to help my clients get what they want (and paid for).  I am joyful about the task at hand, my lists are set.

Many of you know (and I’ve never really hidden it).I have survived an ordeal, and I am happy because I’ve learned that I can’t be killed.   I can’t be extinguished.  I can get better faster than the government can harm me.  I took their best blow.  Yes, it hurt.  But I got tougher. They will never harm me.  And when  they try again, my stuff is together and I’m ready, and it will be a mere inconvenience, a half day’s work and a check to some Tax Attorney.

Like Martha Stewart before me, I had to maneuver in unpleasant ways.  I had to give plasma to keep the lights turned on 3 years ago. I wasn’t able to adorn my wife in the way that I’d like.   I joined the non prestigious Chapter 7 Society.  But I never broke, and I never said “do it to Julia.”

I’m guessing I’m not the only one.  I’m guessing that other people are shaking off the blows right now, learning that we can produce the income sufficient to pay for an extra house over a three year period in “the worst economy ever.”   Over 3 years, I paid what it would cost to buy a Read more

A Salute To All The Unprofessionals Out There

The word unprofessional has no meaning.  It’s designed to be vaguely insulting, and to be an ad hominem attack on someone that inconveniences a busy Realtor in the course of his or her day.  Nobody wants to be unprofessional. Folks sling it around on twitter on a daily basis.  Follow the #RTB hashtag for details.  It’s an insult below the surface: any agent  that doesn’t immediately cater to the irrelevant demands of a competitor risks being called unprofessional.  When I was a mortgage broker, I was first called “unprofessional” when I didn’t want to listen to the pitch of a dumpy salesperson that walked unbidden into my office.   I see it coming: another coercive assault on innovation, on hustle, on passion.    Anything that rocks the boat is to be called unprofessional.

Unprofessional.

What, then, is a professional?   Congenial, and cowed.  They wear the yokes of the big brokers proudly, making nice at the big agent meetings and the Barcamps and the other exercises in irrelevance that show that they are people people. These professionals sell but few houses, but dog gone it, they do it in a way that their other professionals don’t object to.  They attend their board meetings and they advocate rulings that help one another…and in the name of more standards (for others), they add paperwork and tedium to the job of representing buyers, sellers and borrowers.

And if you glance askance at any idea, you run the risk of being called unethical in addition to unprofessional.

The real aim, of course is to have a cushy job that requires little.  To not adapt and help.  To innovate so very slowly, and of course to prevent anyone else  from entering into their space.  Of course, they all stick together.  People are professionals because they say they are, not because they care about their clients, innovation or anything else.  What is a real estate professional?  Probably someone that sells 3 homes in a calendar year and returns calls 40% of the time.  That’s probably a higher standard than 80% of the NAR reaches.

Our #RTB movement (which other word often precedes “movement”) Read more

TweetSpinner: Making some damn sense out of Twitter

Alright kids, a quick damn screenvid.

I didn’t think I needed followers till I started seriously seeing my bit.ly links had more clicks.   That was cool.

Then I learned that those clicks opt in at the same damn rate as PPC/SEO clicks.  Even cooler.

Now…you can get LOCAL followers en masse with very little work.  Takes 2-3 months but you can build to 2,000-3000 or more.

Here’s the rapid fire video, where I just do it, share the (LEN) function thanks to Jesse Petersen.

I know, most of you won’t give a Twit, but this thing rocks, and if your pages convert can be automated.

Libertarian Politics, Facebook Videos & Much Much More

It’s going to take a decade, at least.  Probably longer.   But, we’ll reclaim this country in word and deed…without being corrupted or corruptible.   I have hope….because I know what side I’m on.

It starts and ends with education: overcoming the crap that’s poured into our heads about the nature of the world, overcoming the “pseudoeconomics” .  It starts with me continuing to educate myself, pointing out ideas to others.

I’m in with both feet.  What I did before prepared me for this.  3 weeks ago, Jeremiah Arn and I were talking.  How fast could we get quality stuff done?  How cheap.  He was shocked, as NetBoots quoted him $2500+ for baseline functionality.  I can do what they can do cheaper–partly because WP has a bigger community than Drupal, partly because we’ve done this for a while, and partly because Flat Rate Web Jobs has built ton of sites and has a decent system in place for at least that portion of the experience.  Cloning that and focusing on speedy delivery is key.

So, now, I make libertarian campaign websites for a living.  We’ll deliver five this week. First one off the line was last week  We were faster than their people were ready with copy.  That never happens.   For you Austinites that never read BHB, please vote for liberty minded Glen Mayes for school board starting April 26th.

Campaigns need speed–period.  That’s what they have to have to win, you recruit a candidate, you get them ready for primaries, then you have 50-60 days, tops to do everything.  Each day is a big portion of the total time, and waiting a week for a website is a killer.  When I worked on my campaign vendor delays were the #1 source of stress.

And there’s no excuse for that: with SQL every frollicking thing we do is a database entry.  See?  WP/Thesis/all of it.  It boils down to one database that we can re-use, re-deploy and set all the variables for with one form.  Call me a vendorslut already.  Whatever. We make it fast and we make it better with every iteration.  You know, a loop.

We Read more

Unchained Melody Redux: Two Songs

Proving that happiness is not what happens to you…heard this (famous song):

“Got no money in my pockets…had a job and I lost it…but it won’t get to me…”
“…I’m alive and I’m free…who wouldn’t wanna be me.”

I’m not much for country/twangy stuff.  I’ve heard this song a million times, but this was the first time I’d listened to the words.

And another one–I am stunned everytime I watch it. I couldn’t find it on Youtube in an embeddable version–I found it on MySpace (oddly, first time I’ve found a use Myspace in the Obama administration:)

Gene Kelly-Singing In The Rain

The hilarious part was this:

The cop at the end.  Cops kill joy, glower at the jubilant for no reason.  This is not in dispute.

Jubilance is Not Arrogance

Jubilance is Not Arrogance

“Why are you so happy I say.”

“Cause I get to be me.”  I say.

“How are you” they say. “Never better,” is my invariable answer.

When I’m at a Starbucks, or shopping for clothing, I’m happy.  I’m happy because I’m doing somethin’ I want to be doing.  I’m happy and cheery, and delighted to be alive.  I’m loud and I can’t help it.  I engage people in a life of play.  A frolicking time.

I’ve always done this.

I have my surly moments, I have my moral failures, and I have times where I’m not yet congruent with my ideal self.  But generally—I’m happy.

And people notice that happiness.

And a few people try to bring me down a notch, down to wherever it is that they wallow.

Through every trial, I’ve been happy.  Because I know that the future is bright.  If not for everyone, certainly for me and my son and my wife and my daughter.  I’m not giddy, and I’m not Pollyanna. I’m happy because I believe in the abilities (the inalienable essence, endowed by my Creator).  I don’t hold onto a bad mood longer than a couple of minutes, ever.  My temper does not have the hold on me it did and eventually it won’t even be a part of my existence.  Because happy is winning.

I’m happy. And the world rejects that anomoaly, and I’m OK with it.  I used to wag my finger, but all I can do is lean and loaf and rejoice in the fact that I have that spark of the divine that allows me to feel and know that the road ahead is good.

When someone says, “You don’t need any more caffeine.”  I say, “why is it an anomaly to be anything but joyful—how do you think we’re meant to be?”

We’re meant to be happy.  Happy is at nobody’s expense, but look what happens when you’re happy.  You’ll infect many people with delight.  There will always be a few people that are designed to inflict misery.  These are the men that call Greg Swann arrogant, and these are the people that have quashed the spark of Read more