I wonder, with regard to an addiction to things, if there isn’t a deeper cause… maybe a hole that needs filling. I ascribe most of our eventual attacks on ego to a lack of continuity we create within ourselves, and our inability to either align our external actions or accept our internal truth.
Sean Purcell commented here, not long ago. Good stuff. I wanted to bring it to the forefront.
Here’s the thing: needing approbation from others has made me weaker than anything else. It’s made me a pawn of a dilettante, a hustler for a buck and it’s made me do all of the smarmy, seedy things I’ve ever done. The root cause has been making someone like me.
Think of this: when you’ve gone to a store with a big ticket item, and you get an ingratiating, smarmy salesperson there. His goal in life is to make you like him. Is there anything more repulsive? You see a car salesperson that wants you to seem like a friend. Is anyone fooled by the saccharine compliments? Anyone?
And if they convince you that you need to approve of them, you leave with a bad taste in your mouth, not unlike bile. I’ve been that guy, on both sides of the counter. I know.
It’s like going into a gentleman’s club, as if some dude in his late 40’s is gentrified by ogling daddy issue girls in their early 20’s.
Approbation is carbon monoxide. Seeking it in lieu of achievement means a death of a million cuts.
Jesus, also, has it right:
“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. (Matthew 6:2)
And what a reward. Seriously. What a reward to have dirtbags approve of you.
We clamor for it…the approval of strangers….(or in the case of Real Estate conferences, strangers that cheat on their wives.) A standing ovation devoid of meaning? We haven’t achieved jack, but we want the adulation anyway. We do so much pandering.
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