{"id":10407,"date":"2009-11-25T18:13:31","date_gmt":"2009-11-26T01:13:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=10407"},"modified":"2009-12-02T18:05:28","modified_gmt":"2009-12-03T01:05:28","slug":"for-the-cosmic-record","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/10407\/for-the-cosmic-record\/","title":{"rendered":"For the Cosmic Record"},"content":{"rendered":"

W<\/strong>hen presented with an ultimatum my first inclination has always been to go for the ‘or else’\u00a0 end of the proposition— a defiant tendency that was pointed out\u00a0 to me by more than a few black-hooded figures in charge of my early catechism. This probably explains\u00a0 the abnormally high pain threshold I lug around to this very day. (Go ahead,\u00a0 smack me across the knuckles with a ruler the next time we’re doing math together and see for yourself\u00a0 how little I seem to care.)\u00a0 I’m convinced this emotional dereliction has to something do with a mutated gene strand that skipped a few low risk taking generations in my inherent DNA.\u00a0 Clearly, I was breech born under a bad moon.\u00a0 I am a Virgo, they say,\u00a0 but not by much.<\/p>\n

In the late 1960s, when the Age of Aquarius was recruiting the deflowered masses of my wayward generation, I found myself stalled,\u00a0 hesitant to beam up to the mothership.\u00a0 Manned with my own back alley (hearsay, to be sure)\u00a0 knowledge of that dirtiest of deeds,\u00a0 I actually did the arithmetic and concluded that\u00a0 my parents must have lost the rhythm on, or around,\u00a0 Thanksgiving Dinner, 1955<\/strong>.\u00a0 Born in the late afternoon on August 23rd\u00a0 the following leap year (and exactly three complete trimesters to the dinner bell hour later), I concluded that\u00a0 had my mother only pushed a little harder during labor,\u00a0 I could\u00a0 have been a Leo.\u00a0 But then again, if everyone hadn’t started drinking Cold Duck in the morning exactly nine months earlier, I probably wouldn’t have been<\/em>…. at all.<\/p>\n

So hence, I mentally celebrate—in my sick,\u00a0 sick head—two birthdays every year:\u00a0 The day of my most\u00a0 probable, mathematically correct Conception<\/em> (Thanksgiving dinner, badda-bing<\/em>),\u00a0 and…. August 23rd, that so-called celestial cusp I barely missed by some late breaking water.\u00a0 When someone asks me what astrological\u00a0 ‘sign’ I am,\u00a0 I simply spew out\u00a0 my theory as posed above… and they usually go away.\u00a0 It’s my own ultimatum of\u00a0 sorts,\u00a0 I suppose, to anyone who tries to get too close.\u00a0 After all, I did come out feet first and tend to veer a Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When presented with an ultimatum my first inclination has always been to go for the ‘or else’\u00a0 end of the proposition— a defiant tendency that was pointed out\u00a0 to me by more than a few black-hooded figures in charge of my early catechism. This probably explains\u00a0 the abnormally high pain threshold I lug around to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8,5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-10407","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-disintermediation","7":"category-investment","8":"category-real-estate","10":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10407"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10425,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10407\/revisions\/10425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}