{"id":12326,"date":"2010-06-21T07:29:28","date_gmt":"2010-06-21T14:29:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=12326"},"modified":"2010-06-21T07:30:43","modified_gmt":"2010-06-21T14:30:43","slug":"the-mirror-effect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/12326\/the-mirror-effect\/","title":{"rendered":"The Mirror Effect"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you ever wonder how to deal with someone else’s opinion of you – especially if it’s negative?\u00a0 Not how to handle<\/em> a negative or even rude opinion; early on you should have learned that politeness is how we handle almost any situation.\u00a0 No, I’m asking if you have a mechanism or coping skill for those times when you discover what someone else thinks about you and it’s painful in some way?\u00a0 This is not an uncommon experience and might be especially common for\u00a0real estate agents!\u00a0 (I’ll leave you to find your own context on that one.) \u00a0Personally, I’ve heard a number of answers to this question and they are usually\u00a0similar\u00a0to the one found in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz<\/a>.\u00a0 While not completely representative of everyone’s answer, it’s close enough. This\u00a0solution seems to lie in finding ways to ignore, become indifferent to, or otherwise devalue the offending expression. \u00a0(Mr. Ruiz, for example, points out that when someone says something about us, we should remember they are\u00a0limited by their own view of the world – their own prism – and realize what they say, says a lot more about them, than us.)\u00a0 This is both obvious and oblivious.\u00a0 May I suggest something a little different?<\/p>\n

The Mirror Effect<\/strong>
\nOf course other people see things through their own prism; so what?\u00a0 Their opinions can not – and do not – hurt me in the least. How could they?\u00a0 They are only words and, depending on your philosophical bent, the person saying them may or may not even exist! \u00a0If I feel hurt or pain (or happiness for that matter), you can be sure I<\/em> am the sole cause.\u00a0 I hear the words, I interpret them (through my own<\/em> prism Mr. Ruiz) and I create feelings in reaction to my interpretation.\u00a0 I create…<\/strong>\u00a0 That’s where the wonderful opportunity lies.\u00a0 The negative or painful (or happy) feelings are created from within.\u00a0 That’s not just a difference regarding who is in control (per Mr. Ruiz and the rest, I am to develop some ability that will counter the hurt caused<\/em> by the words or expressions of Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you ever wonder how to deal with someone else’s opinion of you – especially if it’s negative?\u00a0 Not how to handle a negative or even rude opinion; early on you should have learned that politeness is how we handle almost any situation.\u00a0 No, I’m asking if you have a mechanism or coping skill for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[212,5],"tags":[483],"class_list":{"0":"post-12326","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-flourishing","7":"category-real-estate","8":"tag-mirror","10":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2551,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2551\/i-hear-rumors-all-the-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":0},"title":"I hear rumors all the time","author":"Jim Duncan","date":"January 30, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"This agent has a second job.It's a real estate blogger's responsibility - ethically (at least per NAR and common sense), and one assumes legally, to present the best, most accurate information possible.... Damaging that credibility - even by an infinitesimal amount - is not an option.When on a panel at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2752,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2752\/appraisers-the-latest-target-in-the-circular-firing-squad\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":1},"title":"Appraisers – The Latest Target In The Circular Firing Squad","author":"Doug Quance","date":"March 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"The Blame Game - Go Find A Scapegoat And Pin The Tail On Their Donkey Pundits pontificate about the reasons that the real estate market is in a shamble, and the latest target in their crosshairs is appraisers. \"Those crooked appraisers jacked up the values of the properties!\" they scream.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Investment"","block_context":{"text":"Investment","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/investment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3185,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3185\/whos-a-mortgage-fiduciary\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":2},"title":"Who’s a Mortgage Fiduciary?","author":"Brian Brady","date":"May 31, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you ready for the next big argument about fiduciary capacity? It's coming in the form of national loan originator licensing and it promises to be a doozy. The Federal Housing Finance and Regulatory Reform Act of 2008 is proposed legislation that seeks to license anyone who quotes rates or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lending"","block_context":{"text":"Lending","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/lending\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14556,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/14556\/heres-looking-at-you-kid\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":3},"title":"Any Chance You’re Holding A Fun-House Mirror?","author":"Sean Purcell","date":"May 10, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Let's see: short sleeve, button down shirt with yellow plaid design: check. Power red necktie, wide, hanging half way down my ample belly: check. Name tag with alphabet soup of certifications, right side up and cleaned of (most of) last night's pasta sauce: check. Roger Rocket - real estate superman\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Casual Friday"","block_context":{"text":"Casual Friday","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/casual-friday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13708,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/13708\/californias-long-term-real-estate-outlook\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":4},"title":"California’s Long Term Real Estate Outlook","author":"Jeff Brown","date":"November 23, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Even though we can't be sure of what our income tax rate will be for 2011, we do have a kinda sorta idea of the high side, right? Lookin' for more to be thankful for this Thursday? If you don't live in California, trust me, be thankful as you anticipate\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":956,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/956\/more-weblogs-and-a-mirror\/","url_meta":{"origin":12326,"position":5},"title":"More weblogs — and a mirror . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"January 27, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Today we added about twenty more weblogs to the potentially canonical list of real estate weblogs. Cameron also added code to permit you to mirror this list if you want to, although it's not as much mirror as I want. I also want an OPML version of the list, along\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12326"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12335,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12326\/revisions\/12335"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}