{"id":13786,"date":"2010-12-13T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-12-13T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=13786"},"modified":"2020-12-25T06:20:39","modified_gmt":"2020-12-25T13:20:39","slug":"christmas-at-the-cemetery-with-bubba","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/13786\/christmas-at-the-cemetery-with-bubba\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas at the cemetery — with Bubba"},"content":{"rendered":"

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story<\/em><\/p>\n

December 25, 1998 \u2013 Christmas Day<\/em><\/p>\n

If you want to hear your thoughts echo into a perfect silence \u2013 go to the cemetery.<\/p>\n

I do it a lot, actually, not to be too terribly morbid. Potter\u2019s fields and VA graveyards and tidy middle-class golf courses of the dead and tony, upscale permanent condominiums where they frown loudly on walk-in traffic. But democracy makes her last stand at the cemetery, so no one is ever actually turned away, and I expect it would take quite a performance to get yourself ejected.<\/p>\n

But the cemetery is not the story \u2013 it\u2019s just the honest part. The other part \u2013 to be much too kind \u2013 starts with my growing a tail.<\/p>\n

A Secret Service tail, that is. Last August I wrote a story called \u2018How Bubba pulled it off.\u2019 It\u2019s about a teenage masturbator who just happens to be President of the United States, and just after I wrote it I started noticing the tail.<\/p>\n

Like this is so hard. I walk from place to place, that\u2019s what I do. Sometimes I take a bus or a train or the subway. Rarely do I fly. Mostly I walk. When you\u2019re walking into an empty dawn on an empty two lane road in upstate New York and the only car on the road is a big black Crown Victoria with D.C. tags, when it\u2019s following you at idling speed with the running lights on \u2013 it\u2019s a safe bet you\u2019ve been fed-infested.<\/p>\n

Four teams of two agents each, it turned out. They worked in eight hour shifts, and there is no better way to draw attention to yourself than to walk through a small town during the shift change with not one but two big black Crown Victorias following you.<\/p>\n

At first it kinda ticked me off. I would run little games on the bozos to lose them \u2013 skipping the wrong way down a one-way street, in one door and right out the other, exiting through the freight entrance, that kind of stuff. They would not<\/em> get out of the car, so I spent about a Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story December 25, 1998 \u2013 Christmas Day If you want to hear your thoughts echo into a perfect silence \u2013 go to the cemetery. I do it a lot, actually, not to be too terribly morbid. Potter\u2019s fields and VA graveyards and tidy middle-class golf courses of the dead and tony, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,212,29],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13786","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-egoism-in-action","7":"category-flourishing","8":"category-group-therapy","10":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17632,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/17632\/overnight-news-a-peaceful-devolution-of-government-now-thats-a-christmas-miracle\/","url_meta":{"origin":13786,"position":0},"title":"Overnight News: A peaceful devolution of government? 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Frank. Brutal. Tragic. Very affecting. See it today. It's gone tomorrow.","rel":"","context":"In "Group Therapy"","block_context":{"text":"Group Therapy","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/group-therapy\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12139,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/12139\/bubba-cools-out-in-the-cold\/","url_meta":{"origin":13786,"position":3},"title":"Bubba cools out in the cold","author":"Greg Swann","date":"June 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"A Ramblin' Gamblin' Willie story News is not my thing, but sometimes it falls into your lap. That's what Bubba did -- literally. He was half in the bag and he stumbled and tripped and landed his sloppy self right on me. For a while he just laid half across\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Mother"","block_context":{"text":"Big Mother","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/big-mother\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":312,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/312\/the-fsbo-and-bubba-variety-hour-how-to-make-the-buyers-agents-dance\/","url_meta":{"origin":13786,"position":4},"title":"The FSBO and BUBBA variety hour: How to make the buyer’s agents dance . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"September 9, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Our friend, colleague and personal marketing god, Richard Riccelli is getting ready to FSBO his Boston townhouse. 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