{"id":1723,"date":"2007-08-01T22:02:22","date_gmt":"2007-08-02T05:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=1723"},"modified":"2007-08-01T22:02:22","modified_gmt":"2007-08-02T05:02:22","slug":"how-to-suck-as-a-realtor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/1723\/how-to-suck-as-a-realtor\/","title":{"rendered":"How to SUCK as a Realtor"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"angry.jpg\"After spending a lot of time this week following up on various ads, trying to track down Realtors to ask quick questions about their listings and spending time on “competitors'” websites and blogs, I have determined that there is a formula to how to SUCK as a Realtor. Part of my appeal as a contributor is that I’m not a Realtor. I don’t practice Real Estate, but I’m involved just enough to witness why people have a poor perception of the industry. If you want to SUCK as a Realtor, be sure to follow these tips in acronym form:<\/p>\n

1.) S<\/u><\/strong>ilence your phone so that you never have to answer it or get that pesky noise that the voicemail thingy makes when I leave a series of messages over several days. Even though I simply say, “I have a question about your advertisement, I’m interested in learning more,” and you can’t tell if I am a buyer or not, you should never answer that phone or return calls. Otherwise, someone might think that you are a good Realtor. <\/p>\n

2.) U<\/u><\/strong>ntimeliness with emails is key. If you really<\/em> want to suck as a Realtor, make sure to check your email no more than once a week. That’s really pushing it… you should probably only check monthly. And then don’t respond. Even if someone is interested in submitting an offer and you’ve followed step 1 and plan on following step 5.<\/p>\n

3.) C<\/u><\/strong>ondescending anyone that crosses your path is crucial- other Realtors, buyers, sellers, the paper boy and kittens. You are clearly smarter and more established than anyone in the industry, never mind your ’85 Escort that just pooped emissions on our office driveway. Make sure in meetings to use the words “Top Realtor” and “better than” at least seven times.<\/p>\n

4.) C<\/u><\/strong>ompetency is for suckas. If you are able to comprehend basic RE law, how to perform the dial function of a phone, or how to unlock a door with an eKey, you definitely don’t SUCK as a Realtor… you should try harder if you want to be the “Top Suckey Realtor.” I know how Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After spending a lot of time this week following up on various ads, trying to track down Realtors to ask quick questions about their listings and spending time on “competitors’” websites and blogs, I have determined that there is a formula to how to SUCK as a Realtor. Part of my appeal as a contributor […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1723","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-real-estate","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":660,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/660\/dual-agency-smack-down-real-estate-in-real-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":0},"title":"Dual Agency Smack-Down: Real estate in real life . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"February 18, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Kicking this back up to the top. I wrote this on November 19th, 2006, but nothing has changed since then. But, as it happens, our friends at Agent Shortbus have taken up the topic of dual agency, albeit without reference to anything rigorous or dispositive. We have a whole category\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dual Agency"","block_context":{"text":"Dual Agency","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/dual-agency\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3329,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3329\/attention-realtor-association-wannabe-geeks-all-monopolies-suck-by-definition-so-you-must-open-up-our-forms-to-multiple-vendors\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":1},"title":"Attention Realtor association wannabe geeks: All monopolies suck by definition, so you must open up our forms to multiple vendors","author":"Greg Swann","date":"July 7, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I wrote a couple of times yesterday about using the iPhone as the laptop killer for real estate transactions. If my guesses about cloud computing play out, the iPhone and subsequent hand-held computers have the potential to replace our desktop machines as well -- or at least give us every\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2644,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2644\/living-up-to-the-bloodhoundblog-mission-statement-were-everything-you-wish-were-in-realtor-magazine\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":2},"title":"Living up to the BloodhoundBlog mission statement: We’re everything you wish were in Realtor magazine","author":"Greg Swann","date":"February 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"This is our mission statement:BloodhoundBlog is everything you wish were in Realtor magazine \u2014 but isn\u2019t.Damned if it ain't the gospel truth! Realtor Magazine does a cover story on real estate weblogging -- and none of the Bloodhounds are there. Not sour grapes. We're the big dogs in this menagerie\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6776,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/6776\/ask-the-bloodhounds-what-are-your-top-recommendations-for-a-realtor-just-starting-out-in-todays-market\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":3},"title":"Ask the Bloodhounds: “What are your top recommendations for a Realtor just starting out in today’s market?”","author":"Greg Swann","date":"January 31, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"An email from Nicole Ford, a newer agent working on the Gulf coast of Texas:Hi Greg, \u00a0 I'm a new agent (started in July)\u00a0and have recently started reading the Bloodhound Blog. First, I want to say thank you for providing such an incredible resource. Second, I have a question that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Flourishing"","block_context":{"text":"Flourishing","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/flourishing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3228,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3228\/why-national-real-estate-listing-sites-suckreason-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":4},"title":"Why National Real Estate Listing Sites Suck….Reason #1","author":"Eric Blackwell","date":"June 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"They don't ALWAYS provide national level exposure to our listings, (and that is above and beyond the fact that most will not disclose the actual traffic figures of their local property searches so we can see ACTUALLY how much exposure we are getting for the listings that we are GIVING.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Real Estate"","block_context":{"text":"Real Estate","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/real-estate\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":981,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/981\/let-ideas-kill-themselves\/","url_meta":{"origin":1723,"position":5},"title":"Let Ideas Kill Themselves","author":"Jeff Turner","date":"February 2, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"The last 36 hours have been interesting to watch, both on ActiveRain and here on BloodhoundBlog. Perhaps there's something in the water, but there have been a slew of posts about REALTOR? commissions and what is the \"fair price\" to pay for their services. 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