{"id":3976,"date":"2008-08-18T18:30:25","date_gmt":"2008-08-19T01:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=3976"},"modified":"2008-08-18T19:08:47","modified_gmt":"2008-08-19T02:08:47","slug":"i-cant-swim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3976\/i-cant-swim\/","title":{"rendered":"I Can’t Swim"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t swim; not a lick, stroke or otherwise. I got pulled out of the deep end for the first time when I was 4 years old and then again when I was 14. Both times I saw my quick, up-to-that-point-in-time life, unfold before me as I flailed wildly for help, until finally sinking below surface and fading off into the ether…. Both times I awoke choking up chlorine with a male lifeguard’s mouth on my<\/em> mouth trying to breath life back into my waterlogged lungs. Both times I was left with the taste of stale cigarettes. I didn’t turn out gay but I did become a smoker soon after the second incident; luck of the draw, I suppose.<\/p>\n

I was clocked in the 100 Yard (not <\/em>meters) Dash under<\/em> 10 seconds in the same, much younger life, but I never gave anyone reason to save me from myself in that particular venue. I was<\/em>, unfortunately, forced to run the last leg of a Mile Relay once in high school and hit the asphalt pavement, face first, on the third turn. I had to be escorted off the track and into the infield by the cheerleaders, one of whom I did bum a smoke from, so I suppose the theme continued on in its own way.<\/p>\n

I’ve never put on a gymnast’s uniform (okay…maybe once after a heavy night of tequila shooters in Tijuana, circa 1984) so there’s nothing really exciting to report on that<\/em> Olympic front, either. I don’t do horseback riding, play basketball worth a damn, or participate in soccer, softball, or syncronized anything<\/em>; men, womens or<\/em> Soviet Block cross-gender. I don’t do long distance unless it’s covered in my AT&T<\/em> plan.<\/p>\n

I did ride my bicycle 23 miles yesterday morning—but it took me almost 4 hours, well off any<\/em> competitive pace, so it’s probably not even worth mentioning here. Oh, and I did get into a boxing match of sorts one night with someone who may very well have been a ladies weightlifter <\/a>from Azerbarijan but that ended in a ‘no decision’ from what I’ve been told. As I vaguely recall, Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t swim; not a lick, stroke or otherwise. I got pulled out of the deep end for the first time when I was 4 years old and then again when I was 14. Both times I saw my quick, up-to-that-point-in-time life, unfold before me as I flailed wildly for help, until finally sinking below […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3976","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-disintermediation","7":"category-real-estate","9":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4057,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/4057\/is-it-sink-swim-or-just-taking-a-deep-breath-to-find-boucancy\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":0},"title":"Is it sink, swim, or just taking a deep breath to find buoyancy?","author":"Brad Coy","date":"August 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It's Saturday, which means it's my Sunday, which means it's my one day off if I'm lucky.\u00a0 This last month has been the busiest I have seen this year.\u00a0 The choices of my clients, both on the buying and listing side have seemed more challenging now than I have ever\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Casual Friday"","block_context":{"text":"Casual Friday","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/casual-friday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1218,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/1218\/1218\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":1},"title":"Niche Marketing in Action","author":"Teri Lussier","date":"March 25, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Last night two separate thoughts took a moonlight swim through the gray matter, and when I woke up this morning things made sense. One thing that stuck in my head was Brian Brady's post on niche marketing. So well put- a recipe for success. The other thought was about my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Real Estate"","block_context":{"text":"Real Estate","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/real-estate\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3111,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3111\/when-the-weather-in-phoenix-is-bad\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":2},"title":"When the weather in Phoenix is bad…","author":"Greg Swann","date":"May 13, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"...it's really bad... That's what I woke up to this morning. Windy, cold and spitting rain. I had a home inspection in the nearby foothills and I had to sit through a brief brown-out -- a cloud of dust so thick I couldn't see to drive. The Russian Thistle were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1587,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/1587\/iphone-reviews-begin-to-appear-a-strong-win-with-caveats\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":3},"title":"iPhone reviews begin to appear: A strong win with caveats","author":"Greg Swann","date":"June 26, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm writing about the Apple iPhone for Friday's Republic, putting me in an august company of gushing fans. Reviews appeared today from the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Newsweek. So far, everyone loves it, with some reservations. Engadget has a run-down of the caveats turned\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Marketing"","block_context":{"text":"Marketing","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/marketing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2894,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2894\/because-of-who-i-am-because-i-will-not-keep-my-mouth-shut-i-understand-better-than-most-of-us-what-it-means-to-be-an-american\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":4},"title":"Because of who I am, because I will not keep my mouth shut, I might understand better than most of us what it means to be an American","author":"Greg Swann","date":"April 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Witness:\"Hu spread malicious rumors and committed libel in an attempt to subvert the state's political power and socialist system,\" the court verdict stated[.]Every time you take notice that there is no gun barrel pressed to the base of your skull, you might say a prayer for the soul of George\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5223,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/5223\/mouth-to-mouth-capitulation\/","url_meta":{"origin":3976,"position":5},"title":"Mouth to Mouth Capitulation","author":"Geno Petro","date":"October 26, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"My favorite homeless guy, a poor weather worn soul named Johnnie, has been hawking the morning Tribune at the corner of Hollywood and Broadway ever since I moved to Chicago in the mid-1990s. Idling at the stoplight, awaiting my green arrow signal into the rush hour flow of Lake Shore\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Disintermediation"","block_context":{"text":"Disintermediation","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/disintermediation\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3976"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3976\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3985,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3976\/revisions\/3985"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}