{"id":4590,"date":"2008-09-23T09:14:03","date_gmt":"2008-09-23T16:14:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=4590"},"modified":"2008-09-30T16:37:22","modified_gmt":"2008-09-30T23:37:22","slug":"funny-ha-ha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/4590\/funny-ha-ha\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny, ha ha"},"content":{"rendered":"

I grab myself by the ear and drag my own sorry ass to the ‘place’ where I’m supposed to be writing something significant on a daily basis–a small, shady library room in the front of our 1890s Victorian house in Chicago. I look around and consider my resources: Mission style writing desk and leather straight back chair; Laptop, printer, copier; A collection of books by the greatest writers who have ever lived (and died); Google, Dictionary.com, iPhone; Sleeping dog, indifferent cat, supportive third wife; Eight years of The New Yorker stacked on every available dusty surface; Picture window; Bucolic setting; Liberal arts degree from a Pennsylvania state college.<\/p>\n

Lamps, photographs, framed art. Unlimited coffee less than 20 feet away…<\/p>\n

Viscerally speaking, I have only one excuse–nothing is funny to me these days. I’m just not feeling it. I stare at the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest every week and no juice. Nada. Zilcho. I hate Seinfeld anymore. Larry David, too. What a schmuck.<\/p>\n

“Have you written anything today?” she asks from the other room. The television room across the hall where fallen stars dance and more desperate housewives than mine (I would hope) plot their own nefarious outcomes.<\/p>\n

“Yes. The electric bill,” I say. “I wrote a check for the electric bill.” Ha ha funny.<\/p>\n

“What about the mortgage?” On a different subject now. Diversion from the creative to the financial. Not very funny. (What she really means is ‘have you sold any real estate lately?’)<\/p>\n

Good question. What about the mortgage? We’re being triple escrowed by our lender because the Cook County Tax Assessor’s office incorrectly recorded our deed while in a land far, far away called Reality, the whole banking industry is in a wind sheared tailspin. I look at the Due Notice.<\/p>\n

“Too many digits,” I say, really wanting to run it through the shredder. “I’ll do that tomorrow before I work on my book. We have until the 15th.” Like something magical is going to happen between now and the ides of procrastination. An economic recovery package perhaps. Not even Ha ha. Barely LOL.<\/p>\n

“How is<\/em> the book coming?” she asks. Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grab myself by the ear and drag my own sorry ass to the ‘place’ where I’m supposed to be writing something significant on a daily basis–a small, shady library room in the front of our 1890s Victorian house in Chicago. I look around and consider my resources: Mission style writing desk and leather straight […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-real-estate","no-featured-image"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":517,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/517\/casual-friday-its-a-sports-movie-its-a-vegas-movie-its-a-raucously-funny-comedy\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":0},"title":"Casual Friday: It’s a sports movie, it’s a Vegas movie, it’s a raucously funny comedy . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"October 6, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a rich fully Friday in Bloodhoundville, so I have but one word for Casual Friday: Dodgeball. Vince Vaughn steals any scene he's ever been in, but the casting is inspired throughout -- as is the writing. Every little thing about this film repays attention. There's even an Easter\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Casual Friday"","block_context":{"text":"Casual Friday","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/casual-friday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1290,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/1290\/a-year-at-the-beach-its-the-san-diego-home-blogs-birthday\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":1},"title":"A year at the beach: It’s The San Diego Home Blog’s birthday","author":"Greg Swann","date":"April 11, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Time flies when you don't get any sleep. The San Diego Home Blog, brainchild of Kris and Steve Berg, turns one year old today. If you're reading Kris here, you are seeing some of the best writing in the RE.net. If you're not reading the Bergs at their home weblog,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":424,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/424\/blogoff-post-47-weblog-review-poor-and-stupid\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":2},"title":"Blogoff Post #47: Weblog Review: Poor and Stupid . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"September 26, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"For a change of pace, let's talk about Donald Luskin's weblog, The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor and Stupid. This is one of the few political blogs I am willing to read on any regular basis. Luskin's is nobody's demagogue, but he himself is very smart, as are the people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":710,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/710\/the-sight-the-scent-the-touch-of-rich-luxurious-full-bodied-real-estate-commentary\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":3},"title":"The sight, the scent, the touch of rich, luxurious, full-bodied . . . real estate commentary . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"November 29, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Today, Jeff Brown is a thorn among roses. We're adding a new contributor, San Diego Realtor and super-blogger Kris Berg. With Cathleen Collins below the BawldGuy and Kris above, the median quantity of hair approaches the statistical mean. But rich, luxurious, full-bodied hair -- or none at all -- is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2390,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2390\/kris-berg-wins-with-funny-hats-post\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":4},"title":"Kris Berg Wins with Funny Hats Post","author":"Russell Shaw","date":"December 18, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Kris Berg wins again. This time for her remarkable post showing men wearing funny hats while eating. She even commented on her right to win with that post here. It is with great pride that this particular award is bestowed on Kris. She, will of course win other awards for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Kris Berg Award","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/12\/Kris%20Berg%20Award1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":132,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/132\/word-slinging-in-the-rain-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-blog\/","url_meta":{"origin":4590,"position":5},"title":"Word-slinging in the Rain — or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the blog . . .","author":"Greg Swann","date":"July 25, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"None of this is new to me -- except for the parts that are. I've been writing on the nets since before there were nets. Since BBS systems -- I ran two of them at different times of my life. Since CompuServe was a time-share system called MicroNet that charged\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4590"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4748,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4590\/revisions\/4748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}