{"id":6077,"date":"2008-12-11T23:01:55","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T06:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/?p=6077"},"modified":"2008-12-11T23:18:56","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T06:18:56","slug":"colloquial-warming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/6077\/colloquial-warming\/","title":{"rendered":"Colloquial Warming"},"content":{"rendered":"

It is my contention that a man has the right to drop an F<\/strong>-bomb in the privacy of his own Bluetooth<\/em> as long as it is not<\/strong>: sexually suggestive or within 50 yards of an elementary school; in a restaurant within earshot of my wife before coffee and dessert have been served; or<\/strong>, if the suicide F<\/strong>-bomber himself is the Governor of an actual constitutional (not emotional) state and<\/em> his cell phone has a federal wiretap warrant included in his original Friends and Family<\/em> package. These are just a few of my personal<\/em> demilitarized zones, mind you, and shouldn’t be assigned any politically incorrect weight other than already simply stated. No more, and certainly no less, please.<\/p>\n

The emails and phone calls began flooding in shortly after the following career shattering announcement hit the national news wires early Tuesday morning: Ill Governor Blago Peddles Senate Seat For Mucho Dinero<\/em>.\u00a0 The first to ring me up was fellow midwest blogging Ambassador Chris Lengquist from BBQ Capital in KC<\/a> who cut straight to the chase and bluntly asked, “Mr. Petro, are you now, or have you ever been, ‘Candidate Number Five’?”<\/p>\n

“(Bleep) <\/em>no,” I replied into my headset as I shredded my 2005, 6 and 7 tax returns. “And if I (bleeping) <\/em>was, I wouldn’t admit it over a (bleeping) <\/em>cell phone,” swallowing my SIM card sideways.<\/p>\n

“Then you didn’t<\/em> try to broker President-elect Obama’s vacant Illinois Senate seat to the highest bidder?”<\/p>\n

“(Bleep) <\/em>no,” said I, once again, while simultaneously jiggling loose a paper jam with my toe, slipping the Rolex off my wrist and into a carved-out hardback copy of Dickens’s Great Expectations<\/em>, and formatting the hard drive of my laptop.\u00a0 “I can’t even broker a furnished<\/em>, junior one-bedroom in this heinous market much less a vacant<\/em> seat of a junior Senator I’ve only met a handful of times…if at all….or ever…allegedly. Besides, downstate Illinois is not in my farming area. I’m a Chicago boy, for crissakes, not (bleeping) <\/em> Deep Throat,” choking (and doth protesting too much, <\/em>I suppose).
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

“So then, you are not<\/em> trying to ‘parachute’ yourself into the vacant golden chair coveted by Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is my contention that a man has the right to drop an F-bomb in the privacy of his own Bluetooth as long as it is not: sexually suggestive or within 50 yards of an elementary school; in a restaurant within earshot of my wife before coffee and dessert have been served; or, if the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-6077","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-casual-friday","7":"category-disintermediation","8":"category-real-estate","10":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17262,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/17262\/overnight-news-grasshoppers-discover-new-and-better-ways-to-make-ants-move-away\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":0},"title":"Overnight News: Grasshoppers discover new and better ways to make Ants\u00a0move away.","author":"Greg Swann","date":"October 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"This has been a year of amazingly poor choices. For example, the NBA has only just now discovered that spitting on its fans \u2013 again and again \u2013 is a poor fan-retention strategy. St. Louis has not scared away enough taxpayers in recent years, so now it is criminalizing self-defense.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Group Therapy"","block_context":{"text":"Group Therapy","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/group-therapy\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Ya think it's easy?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/BHBNewTopImage-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17091,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/17091\/overnight-news-ctrl-f-riot-not-found\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":1},"title":"Overnight News: CTRL-F \u2018riot\u2019; not\u00a0found.","author":"Greg Swann","date":"September 22, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Sorry if I seem to be beating a dead horse, but the refusal of the \u201creal estate industry\u201d to admit the existence of the riots while writing all about their secondary consequences is my kind of fun. Hypocrisy abounds, alas, but hypocrisy on high is especially comical. The scum who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Group Therapy"","block_context":{"text":"Group Therapy","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/group-therapy\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/BHBNewTopImage-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2674,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/2674\/william-f-buckley-requiescat-in-pacem\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":2},"title":"William F. Buckley — Requiescat in pacem","author":"Greg Swann","date":"February 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho' We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,-- One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Egoism in Action"","block_context":{"text":"Egoism in Action","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/egoism-in-action\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3305,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/3305\/project-bloodhound-speaking-in-tongues-to-whom-am-i-speaking\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":3},"title":"Project Bloodhound speaking in tongues: To whom am I speaking?","author":"Greg Swann","date":"June 30, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I had a lady phone me the other day who would rather have emailed. She was on our Phoenix real estate web site and she couldn't figure out how to email me. In fact, my email address is associated with every post, just like here, but that wasn't obvious to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blogging"","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/blogging\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17117,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/17117\/overnight-news-why-would-the-worlds-dumbest-real-estate-investor-hire-himself-as-his-own-broker-because-the-emperor-is-definitely-not-naked\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":4},"title":"Overnight News: Why would the world\u2019s dumbest real estate investor hire himself as his own broker? Because the emperor is definitely not\u00a0naked!","author":"Greg Swann","date":"September 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday's big news? \u201cThe Incumbent\u201d doubles down on dipshit. Dipshit-aficionados rejoice. Housing Wire: Home prices post record two-month gain, FHFA says. CTRL-F 'riot'; not found. Redfin: Sacramento, Austin and Phoenix Are the Most Popular Destinations For People Searching For Homes Outside Their Metro Area. CTRL-F 'riot'; not found. Housing Wire:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Group Therapy"","block_context":{"text":"Group Therapy","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/group-therapy\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/BHBNewTopImage-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":16551,"url":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/16551\/want-to-increase-business-answer-your-phone\/","url_meta":{"origin":6077,"position":5},"title":"Want to increase business? Answer your phone","author":"Brian Brady","date":"October 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you want to sell your listing faster and for more money?\u00a0 Answer your phone Do you want to work with more buyers?\u00a0 Answer your phone Lenders, do you want more loan business from agents?\u00a0 Answer your phone I know this sounds simplistic but more sales are made on the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lending"","block_context":{"text":"Lending","link":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/category\/lending\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6077"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6108,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6077\/revisions\/6108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bloodhoundrealty.com\/BloodhoundBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}