I’m not going to link to the news story, because this poor sap’s got troubles enough.

But the headline itself is perfect like algebra:

        man + beer_festival + cop = man_hits_cop

That’s as perfect an outcome as any math can achieve.

But wait. There’s more:

        man_hits_cop = arrest

Easily understood. But consider this:

        arrest = jail = bail

Not quite so obvious, but, given that proposition, this outcome must follow logically:

        jail = bail = marriage_counseling

It’s the math of suburban life gone awry…


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