“Why mint a ‘trillion dollar’ coin? Wouldn’t a custom ‘trillion dollar’ poker chip do just as well? Or why not just float a ‘trillion dollar’ hot check post-dated a trillion years from now? Why complicate fraud?”On Cleo’s first birthday, she ate a lizard. The first time I took her for a walk, when she was but […]
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“Dogs like to work for their dinner. Cats, not so much. That says it all, doesn’t it?”“One need not have an actual conspiracy to achieve the practical effects of a conspiracy. More regimes have been brought, piecemeal, to their knees by what was once called “Irish Democracy” – the silent, dogged resistance, withdrawal, and truculence of […]
“No kennel, no kennel-cough. How hard is that?”Among American religionists, the most vaccine-resistant turn out to be the atheists. I don’t like most atheists – too often Ci pedantic assholes – but this is an outcome easy to foresee: People habituated to making critical distinctions are not going to be early-adopters on anything. Festina lente all […]
Overnight News: If we can’t make faking a hate crime criminal, can we at least make it embarrassing?
“You think you’re a good negotiator, but I get paid in treats for stuff I was going to do, anyway.”“They spray-painted all over our building – in our own incomprehensible jargon!” The quote is a joke, but, alas, the news story is not. If that’s not a fake hate crime, bill me for one edible hat. […]
“You would think one bark is good as another. But then, you’ve never heard what I can do.”Even now, tho’ we are not the America that was, it is the very luckiest of fates to have been born here. We wax and wane as pretend friends of liberty, but it remains that someone like me is […]
“The best dog toy is an ice cube. It skitters around like a hockey puck – plus you can eat it.”I don’t represent buyers, not for years, which makes my life very easy. Leasing is work right now, but selling is easy. Soon enough, selling will be hard again – but then we’ll be back to […]
“What do you call a cat who likes to lounge around with the dogs? A cat.”I think I must have promised to write about the Empathy for the Transaction somewhere along the line. My apologies. I have houses to manage, and it’s been a houseful year. Plus which, I am plagued by a Batman story, and […]
“If all you’re doing is chewing on your pencil, you might as well be gnawing on a stick.”Greek thought is so much the water we swim in that we never think to think about it. We sort and reorganize and align and trim and we never wonder why we fuss so incessantly about “proper order,” when […]
“The difference between Dogecoin and dog biscuits? Fool around and find out…”I have been teasing friends about the vicissitudes of Bitcoin – how 12x last Friday can turn into 7x by today, and how people who talk about x-ing their “investments” are most often degenerate gamblers, losing slowly and lying about it. I’m not nobody’s investment […]
“Now you understand why dogs eat so fast, don’t you?”In 2006, we sold bedrooms without beds: Acres and acres of homes with no ready residents. Totally a cargo cult, of course: Houses are valuable even with no one to occupy them. But for a while you could flip a new build at COE for $50k more […]
“Two masters? Or two schnooks?”I’m doing CE just now – a month early, because I’m about to get hit with houses and I can’t be late. So: Dual agency is bad, m’kay? Steady source of lawsuits, including class-action suits. But it’s lawful, as regulated, so that’s what’s taught: Written consent of both parties when limited […]
Overnight News: If we get lucky, it will turn out that the virus was a terrible pretext for tyranny.
“Getting dogs to start barking is easy. It’s getting them to stop that’s the challenge.”The workers of the world never would unite, but they put the lie to the stories of their exploitation by getting very, very fat. That’s what gave birth to environmentalism: Free markets are clearly much better for people than “compassionate” slavery, […]
“Sharing within the pack? But of course. Outside the pack? Get bent!”If you sniff at a glass of tap-water, chances are you’ll nose out the scent of chlorine. Your local municipality chlorinates your water supply because they know it’s not safe. They’re hoping that introducing toxins into the water supply will kill all the stuff still […]
“Who can say the words ‘synthetic meat’ and not hear ‘dog food’?”Bill Gates says he’ll fly a lot less and eat more synthetic meat to fight climate change. And that, most assuredly, is totally not bullshit. However: If the point of living is to save the planet from himself, he could do so much better. For […]
“To understand ‘informed discretion,’ consider all the things your dog has devoured that he shouldn’t have.”If you sell your home to an iBuyer, you will net around 94% of the offered price, after the accumulated impacts of the fine print you did not read are deducted. If you list your home for sale with me or […]